My sporran has 3 thistle tassels which hit my sporran when I walk. I’m inducing giggles around the department because normally I’m more likely to scare someone because I walk very quietly. Everyone can hear my personal snare drum today. Not as bad as at Cam’s funeral at All Saints but pretty loud anyway. If I ever wanted to know my walking rhythm today is the day.
Cameron Alexander Robb
Jessie Alexandra Cumming Sjoberg
Carl Edward Sjoberg
Laurence Campbell Robb
Della Sjoberg Weickard
Hattie Sjoberg Drummond
Donald Edward Sjoberg
Arthur Joseph Garcia
Ethel May Baldwin
All the people from the AIDS Service Center in Pasadena who are gone now.
All the guys I came out with at PCC GLSU who are gone now. Too, too many.
I remember you all and I hope you went to the afterlife you expected whether heaven, the Summerlands, the Elysian Fields or wherever.
I came to work in full Highland regalia minus the claymore, and people keep calling me “cute” and “adorable”. That is not some one dressed in the garb of a group of fiercesome warriors wants to hear. They weren’t known as the “Fighting Ladies from Hell” for nothing. Now I wish I’d borrowed
‘s claymore. Grrrr!
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door – nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t’ help because I fall faster that you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call is ‘fur’niture)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.