Yes, I’ll have the bleu cheese

I’m finally back at work unless they decide they need to do surgery, I miss sleep. I swear the damn knee hurts more when I’m relaxed than when I’m awake.

I think I have a case for justifiable homicide.

Periodically the apartment building owner decides she may want to change insurance but really I think it’s the only legal way she can snoop in everyone’s apartment. It isn’t like she actually fixes anything unless it shows from the street. We gave her a list of things a year ago and all she did was replace the blinds. We’ve lived there 16 years. She is really cheap when we needed a stove she got one that if you try to scrub the dials to clean them the numbers and lines come off.

So I decided the kitchen floor needed mopping. It’s this awful yellow linoleum that is dirty 5 minutes after you mop it. So I mopped the floor using the bucket and a new mop. My sister came down stairs and had atizzwhack because I used the old bucket. Did she tell me she had used it for sewage when the rest of the building’s output decided to come up our downstairs toilet. Did she throw it away and tell me we needed a new one?> Nooooo. So then she says she can’t walk on the floor barefoot unless I mop it again and I should use our sink. Grrrrr. At least we had two new mops. So I used the sink to mop it again and the last of the pine cleaner.

I had successfully navigated the floor until I went back over the floor to the sink to pull the plug. Blammo! Instant crazed interpretative dance moves ending with the splits on the wet floor. Something went SNAP as I landed on the floor but I was in so much pain in several places I’m still not sure whether the snap came from my knee or my groin. Anyway, I ended up having to scoot across the wet floor onto the carpet until I could get to an area with traction so I could try and get up. I got as far as the couch.

My knee looked like the oh too familiar football like it did in 1990 when I injured it the first time. In 1990 I was still doing folk dancing and I was taking ballet at the nearby college and practicing every day. I also was doing a lot of weight lifting. I was very proud of being able to leg lift 250lbs. Pride goeth before a fall. We got new carpet and desk chairs at work. I was on the phone with an investigator and pushed off to get a file off the shelf behind me. My chair didn’t move but my leg was at a 90 degree angle sideways. I hung up on the investigator and screamed. I’d torn the meniscus off the bone, partially tore the ACL, the hamstring and the medial collateral ligament and for the finale, popped my knee cap off.

When they finally decided yes, I needed surgery. The doctor thought it was a simple meniscectomy and he told me I could go to the Gay Games in Vancouver with my friends. He got in there and found out all the veins and arteries were still connected so he did experimental surgery to reattach the meniscus to the bone. I woke up and found out I would be non weight bearing for 8 weeks and in a wheelchair. I ended up on crutches for a year and half that time. The surgery was in July in 116 degree heat and no airconditioning in my apt. The first two days I was packed in ice but the next week I had heating pads on it. Needless to say I was wearing very little in bed. I also found out I was allergic to Vicodin but it I was so out of it after the surgery it took a few days to figure out.

It was really surreal because it was so hot in the apartment that my snow globe collection was popping and all I could hear in my bedroom was a pop and then I’d hear a tinkle when water flowed out. It took a long time heal and I ended up gaining about 80 lbs. 125 lbs is long ago in the rear view mirror after that.

The xray Monday showed a bone chip and arthritis and too much swelling and fluid to see what’s going on. Something is moving that shouldn’t under the knee cap and it hitches, something is wrong. Did I mention how much being in knee brace and crutches? After my surgery last time I bent the steel immobilizer. My doctor was amazed. That’s when I found out he put extra stitches in next to the nerve so I wouldn’t do things I shouldn’t. He was the best knee guy in LA and I’d met him on the job when I was doing Worker’s Comp so he knew me and sent all my bad knee cases to him. And then his wife made him move to Northern Cal and I lost my doc. I have no idea who I’ll get this time.

So I’m being a whiney beast because it hurts to move and my groin and butt hurt when I sit or lay down.

Yes, I’d like a little cheese with my whine.