Archive | September 28, 2015

Weekend adventures without leaving home

I had an adventure this weekend and I never had to leave the house. I got a letter in Spanish which I don’t really read but 4 years of Latin and growing up here in LA has given me enough to understand what it said.

Almost every weekend we get Spanish speaking Jehovah’s Witnesses invading our street. This is not very bright on their part since almost no one on the street speaks Spanish, everything else but Spanish. We have a lot of Armenian, Russian and Hebrew speakers along with French, Chinese of some sort, Arabic, Hindi and Punjabi and a lot of English only speakers but still they come almost every Sunday morning early and some morning they are going to ring someone’s bell too early and get shot. And since the majority of the neighborhood is Orthodox Jews who walk to one of several temples in the area, they must also be blind since it’s hard to miss the men in their yarmulkes and prayer shawls and big black hats.

I have on occasion turned the sprinklers on our visitors since they like to gather on our front walk in their little flock, several tiny women following a man dressed in black’s instructions and they will talk forever and it’s really annoying when you want quiet on a Sunday morning. I want to get a cup of tea and read or write and it’s difficult to do when they are about 10 feet away, so I will start watering if I have to until they leave.

They seem to be fixated on our apartment building because they always park or meet there and not somewhere else and we aren’t even on the corner. Our yard is full of faeries, witches and gnomes so you would think they would get the point that we are not interested in what they are selling.

Anyway, Saturday I got a letter in Spanish trying to save my soul. They included their name and address and a pamphlet in Spanish about JWs. If I ever was inclined to go back to Christianity it sure wouldn’t be them since they shun children that have been molested by the men in the church and protect the men from the police.

I might have gotten the letter because a lot of crack pot Christian sects thought the end of the world would start last night. I guess they are a little disappointed this morning. I would love for their bloody rapture to start so we can get rid of all these Republican idiots would leave and we can clean up the planet but I’m afraid that’s just another piece of their mythology and it’s not going to happen. Sigh…

Toying with the idea of sending a hex back since she kindly included her full address and name. I could just drop it on her lawn from “Current Resident.” Trying to be my better self. It’s not working.

Note: I’m kind of tempted since I have her address now to show up at her door dressed in my witchy best and offer to tell her about the Morrighan and Hecate and see what happens.