Tag Archive | women’s health

Feeling Equal? We’ve come a long way baby but we still have a long way to go

If you think you are equal let me take you back to when I was a kid.

Please return all your credit cards. Your husband can let you use his when he feels you deserve it.

Please quit any job that isn’t secretarial, in nursing, in janitorial or teaching. Everything else is a man’s job and you are taking work from him. You may not own your own business unless it’s Tupperware, Mary Kay or Avon.

Your job, if you are allowed one, will include getting your boss his coffee, shopping for his wife, getting his lunch and getting his dry cleaning. There will be no women in management. (At one of my companies we found an old manual that included how to smoke like a lady at work at your desk if your boss allowed it and why you couldn’t wear pants. This led to enormous hilarity)

You can’t teach science, or math, we may let you teach art but everyone knows the great artists are men. You may teach language arts and home ec.

All PE classes will be segregated again and girls may now do ladylike things like take walks. The boys B teams can now use all the girls fields and the girls gym. How do I know that? Because that is what my school did in my newly built school in 1970. We may let you play tennis out of season and there will be no girls teams for sports. Title IX has been repealed.

Or as in my high school all the girls taking physics will get an automatic A whether you do the work or not because you will need it for your college transcript. (I refused to take it for this reason. I earned my grades)

All girls must take home ec and pass cooking and sewing with at least a C. You need to know how to take care of your family. You may not take shop, ladies do not take shop.

Remember to have permission from your husband or your father to go to the doctor. Your husband must okay your emergency hysterectomy or c section or any other medical procedure for that matter. My mom made us change doctors when I was in 7th grade because he (the doctor) tried this on us and she wanted us to have access to birth control or abortion that was 1966.

You may not take the Pill, use an IUD or any other form of birth control. The only appropriate birth control is holding an aspirin between your knees. (I’m not kidding, we were told this in health class)

You must be a member of your local church or synagogue or you can count on being shunned by your neighbors because you are a “bad girl”.

Remember to have permission to be out after 10pm from the man who is in charge of you.

You must wear dresses and skirts to work and school and they have to be of appropriate length.

Please remember to always wear a hat and gloves and invest in a good slip and girdle. Foundation garments are very important. Your comfort is not important, obeying the rules is important.

Makeup must be discrete as well as perfume otherwise you will be a slut
Tampons are not worn by ladies, please only wear napkins. There is no ibuprofen, cramps are a sign from God of Eve’s sin.

You may not drive without permission or for that purchase a car or any large major appliance except maybe a new sewing machine. Men can’t be expected to know about those things.

You will also be living in a world that still has measles, chicken pox, mumps, polio, German measles and scarlet fever so there is a good chance one of your children may have a disability such as deafness and blindness, if you get any of the above while pregnant there is a very good chance your child will have a disability. Oh and there is no mainstreaming for disabled kids. Iron lungs can’t go to school. They have to be homeschooled but then you should be at home with your kids anyway.

Like the 1950s/1960s?