Several years ago (like about 25? Give or take one or two.) after I started practicing I started to wonder if my grandmother would approve. She had taught me all the family “ways” while still attending our church every Sunday. As far as it looked she was a good Presbyterian until she started showing you how to talk to trees and whales and how to do “special” stitching etc.
The night before I was to go to a Thanksgiving dinner at my parent’s house I had a dream. It was my grandmother’s voice and all it said was to go upstairs and pull out the first drawer on the left of her chest of drawers and take what was on top and the dream ended.
At this point in time my mother was cheerfully telling everyone at the church I grew up in that I was now worshipping the devil and that she hoped to convert me back. She was so desperate that at my father’s funeral several years later she had the minister give an altar call because she knew all my pagan friends were coming. Presbyterians are not really big on altar calls especially at funerals. We know how that turned out.
When they closed my grandmother’s house after her death and Grandpa came to live with us a lot of her things came too. Mom did not get along with her mother. In fact, one of her curses at me was that I was just like her mother and never meant in a good way. So when Grandma’s things came Mom never touched them to even clean them out. They were moved in and there they sat. It’s why I didn’t find the crystal Grandma left me until after my Dad died and we cleaned out our house. I had to wait almost 30 years to get what she promised me but anyway. Mom wouldn’t even look for the things that Grandma had made clear were mine. Her set of blue willow ware, her crystal and her divination tools, when we found the willow ware in the house closing every piece was broken and the divination tools never surfaced at all.
This heavily carved small chest of drawers sat all alone in the upstairs hallway and no one was allowed near it.
Knowing that if I asked my mother for anything out of it I would get told ‘no’ no matter what the request was I excused myself to the upstairs bathroom and turned on the water and went to look in the chest. What was nestled in a hanky with Grandma’s initials? A tiny cauldron, it’s the most perfect little black cauldron. I slipped it in my pocket and went back down to finish dinner.
I learned two things. Grandma approved and that yet again Mom didn’t pay attention to me if I really didn’t want her to, that ‘please ignore me spells’ worked on her.