Tag Archive | Hecate

A Samhain prayer

On this Samhain Eve

I stand at the head of a long line

The last of my bloodline that there will ever be

I look back at the face of those that came before me

I see my nose and my chin

I see the red of my hair

I see those who went gray and white as I am changing

I see those who walked like me

I see those who loved trees and plants

I see whose who taught me to see the faeries

I see those who taught me to see life

I see those who taught me love

I see the ones who hurt inside so they hurt me

I forgive them

I see the friends that have gone through the veil

Before me

I see those love imprinted on my heart

I see all the shining ones who stand there

It is not my turn to join yet.

This year taught me how close it came to joining you

Some day I will see your shining hearts and faces

I keep you close to me

You taught me so much

I am grateful to have been loved

I am grateful to still have love around me

Hecate, this is your day

You are holding the veil back for us

To send love through

Faerie Queen, you sparkle on the other side

We bow in your honour

And we dance

Brighid, we turn our heads toward winter

And know your quiet strength

Is there for the asking

Elen, your swans pass over

Taking the new souls to Tir Na Nog

And we listen for the sound of wings

This Samhain I honour all those

Whose feet trod the path I walk

Walk with me

Teach me

Tell me stories

Let my ears and eyes be open this night

Let my hands and heart know what is important this night

I wait for the Dark Goddesses

Teach me

Tell me stories

Let my ears and eyes be open this night

Let my hands and heart know what is important this night

I wait for the dead

Teach me

Tell me stories

Let my ears and eyes be open this night

Let my hands and heart know what is important this night

2016

Oh Hecate

Hecate

Now is your time

You walk among us as the veil thins

Please be with your Priestesses

Wherever they may be

They are called to ease the loved ones

The ones that are choosing this time

To pass through the veil

Let them know what is needed

Be with their hearts

They are breaking

Be with the ones leaving

Ease open the curtain

Let them pass easily

Surrounded by those that love them

Let them know that love awaits them on the other side

Comfort those left behind.

Stand with them

Hold their broken hearts

Let them know that love lasts

And is not gone

It’s never gone

Only harder to see

Hecate

Be with us at this time

We turn our faces to the veil

It is not our time

Heal our hearts

Let us know peace

Let us know there is no end

Only endless beginnings

Be with us and to the hour of our passing

Be here now,

Prayer to Hecate

Oh, Hecate

I see you

I acknowledge you

You are in the midst of harvesting people I love

Be with them

Let them see under your hood your caring eyes

Let them not feel alone on their journey

Let them see a light in the darkness

Hold their hands when they are afraid

Let them not see our selfish tears but our loving hearts

Watch over them in their new light and let us see that light.

Be their guide and comfort when we cannot follow

Be our guide and comfort here for it is not our turn.

Help us to remember we were loved when we think of them

Help us at the crossroads to let them go and to follow our own roads

Hecate, Hecate, Hecate

Guide us, heal our hearts and be ready for us when it is our turn.

So mote it be.

The Leaf and Hecate

Once upon a time there was a tree on the side of a hill and on this tree there was a bud, the bud of a new spring green leaf. This leaf was soooo excited to be on the tree. As spring went on he slowly unfurled from his tight bud. Each day he was a little more open. He was going to be the best leaf that ever was! He was going to be greener and prettier and he was going to see everything there was to see from his tree.

Everyday he looked out on the Earth. He felt the sun on his surface. He liked the way that felt. All warm and wonderful, he could feel the warmth turning to sugar to feed the tree and it made him proud to be able to do that.

He liked being near the other leaves and the rustling sounds they made together when the wind came. It was a soft lovely noise.

He liked it when the rain came and got him and his friends all wet and how the rain slid down from one leaf to another before it hit the ground. The leaves liked to play a game to see how long they could hold a drop of water before they had to pass it on to the leaf below.

He liked all the weather although thunder and lighting was kind of scary with all its loud bangs and bright lights. He was a little afraid of being burnt.

He liked talking to the squirrel that lived in the tree. The squirrel was always so busy. Running up and down, gathering nuts from nearby trees and talking to other squirrels. He always had the latest news.

He liked talking to the raven with his deep hoarse voice that came by occasionally. He had wonderful stories of the places he went in winter. Those stories were scary. All the other leaves told him they would be gone by winter but he decided he didn’t want to leave the tree so he listened to those scary stories carefully. What would this winter be like?

He talked to the owl that flew silently in at night. The owl made him jump and shake a little because he never heard the owl coming. Once the owl dropped a feather when he took off quickly to hunt and it landed on him. It was so soft and warm. It made him feel special to be able to touch the owl.

But time was passing every day and the days got longer and then one day they started to get shorter and shorter and he felt a change inside himself. He noticed that he and the other leaves had started to change colour. This wasn’t good at all! He wanted to stay green on his tree forever and he tried to stop is but it just kept happening and he got redder and redder each day. The other leaves started talking about some one called Hecate and they were very excited. All they talked about was going to be with Hecate and would she choose one of them. “Choose them for what?” he thought. “I’m staying right here. I want to see winter even if it is scary. I want to see snow. I want to see things turn white. I want to see the animals go to sleep.”

The leaves around him started letting go. One by one they dropped away with an ecstatic “Whhhhhheeeeeeee!” and away they would spin in the fall breezes and gales but the leaf held on tight to his branch. He started to get lonely but he waited and waited. Soon everyone was gone. Maybe this was going to be lonelier than he thought but he knew it was the only way he was going to see winter. He could see the leaves on the ground under the tree. Most of them blew far, far away, farther than he could see. Was that where this Hecate was? Was that where they really went?

One day he had a big surprise. A woman appeared below his tree, a woman with deep lines in her face and long wavy hair the colour of clouds after the rain. She wore thick clothes in all the colours of all the trees in the woods. Her shawl alone had the deep green of the firs and the yellows of the cottonwood and the reds and oranges of maples, beeches and birches. She stood looking up at him with a kind look on her face. “Time to come down now.” She said quietly.

“Why should I leave my tree?” the leaf asked. “I want to see winter.” The leaf was going to stay right where he was, he thought stubbornly. “What does this woman know anyway?”

“You need to come down now, it’s time.” she said firmly.

“Time for what?” the leaf said sullenly. “I see no good reason to go. I want to see winter!”

“No leaf can see winter from their tree. It’s just not possible and it’s not the way things go. You need to come down here and be nourishment for the Earth. Leaves have just as big a job when they leave their trees. They fall to the Earth to make her strong and so trees will grow new leaves in the spring. If you see winter it must be from down here.” She said softly.

“Who are you?” asked the leaf. He wondered how this woman knew what happened to the other leaves and why she cared.

“Didn’t you hear the other leaves talking about me before they jumped? I’m Hecate and you really need to come down here to me.”

“Don’t wanna.” The leaf said. “I’m gonna stay right here. I want to see snow and see the animals go to sleep and I want to see it through to spring.”

“Well, you can’t.” And Hecate started to rise up through the air to him until her eyes were level with his branch and she could see him clearly. “I’ve never see such a stubborn, curious little leaf “

She looked at him carefully and she could see him shivering in the breeze. He could feel his anchors letting go. “No! NO NO!” he cried. “I won’t go!

“All leaves go sooner or later. This is later for you. It won’t be so bad. It’s just a new adventure.”

He let go of the branch and floated free. Hecate floated with him. He slowly spun through the air, whirling and turning. He could see he was going farther and farther from his old tree.

“Where, oh where was he going?!” But he saw that Hecate was going with him. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad if she went too. He liked her kind brown eyes. They were the same colour as some of the nuts the squirrels collected and he could see the whole wood reflected in them.

“Will you be there with me?” he asked her.

“Always.” She said. “I’m always in the winter wood. I watch over everything and all things and make sure they go at the right time and the right place and I make sure they aren’t alone on their new adventures.”

“Really??” The leaf asked.

“Really!” Hecate replied.

“Then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.” And the leaf floated away on the fall winds with Hecate next to him all the way.

Grief before someone dies is natural and nothing to be guilty about

What most people never talk about is the grieving you do before someone who is ill dies. I suspect most people feel guilty for grieving before but it’s real and it hurts just as much to watch someone die as after, sometimes more. More, because you feel alone because you don’t want to burden the person who is sick or the other family and friends.

Grief before can feel like a never ending tunnel that is only going to get worse. And it isn’t just the grief, it’s the tasks you are performing too. If you can get yourself into a head space of service it’s wonderful but sometimes you just can’t get there. Watching someone deteriorate before your eyes is hard and the physical things you have to do can make you resentful and grossed out and then you feel guilty for that and the losses mount up.

You think if you have to change one more diaper or change the bed one more time that you are going to run screaming down the hall and you get mad at them and at yourself. If you have to listen to one more delusion from someone in dementia or one more whine, you are just going to yell shut up!

You worry every time they bruise and they bruise at the slightest touch that you have done terrible harm even if the nurse or doctor tells you it just comes with it, you see the spread of purple and red and worry. They will stop eating and you want to try and make them even when told that it is a sign of their loosening of the ties to their physical body. And you go some place like your car and cry or just stare at the sky trying to gather yourself for another round.

I’ve been there now way too many times, now. This is your tax for loving. This is your tax for living and unless you are terribly narcississtic and selfish you do it and you keep on doing it. There is no reward for it except love. You have become a priestess of Hecate and no one asked you if you wanted to be a priestess of Hecate.

Hecate stands at the crossroads and waits for your loved one and you are one of the midwives that will hand your loved one to her. Brighid stand with you too and you are wrapped in her cloak ready to help you heal your heart.

It is natural and human to grieve before. Reach out and grab hands and hearts with people who are there to catch you. You may think you are alone but many people have been there before you and can be a light in the tunnel you see before you. Death is healing as much as any medicine. It is the end of pain for the person you love. It is not the end of your pain unfortunately but it can be shared. Let people help, Let people love you. And know that it is alright to grieve before and to keep going and you don’t have to be strong, you already are because you are there. You are not alone.

 

 

A prayer for Laura

 

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Oh Hecate, Be with us this week
This was a week, 3 years ago that was so hard
You sat with us as we sat with Laura
We watched her pass from our realm to yours
We sang, We prayed, We read to her
We soothed her fears and tried to sooth our own
We loved her in all the ways we could
And we wept.

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Oh Hecate, let her know she was loved
Let her know her name is still spoken
Let her know that her life was written on our hearts
Let her know she helped us grow
She taught us to be priestesses by her being one
She taught us to stay on the path

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She showed us the Goddess and we followed
She showed us courage
She showed us love
She showed us the path
Oh Hecate, I miss her
I miss her ideas
I miss her encouragement
I miss her wild red hair and ever changing streaks
I miss the matching nail polish
But most of all I miss her wisdom and love

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Healing prayer

Holy Ladies, Great Goddesses, Kwan Yin and Brighid

I ask healing from you

I ask your loving touch and graceful waters

To wash away the pain

To wash my wounds

To wash the healing through my mind and body

I thank you for your attendance on me

The candles are ever lit for you in my heart

And the your waters of your world wash around me

Bless all those who send healing

From their hearts, from their hands and from their souls

May they be blessed as they have blessed me.

I know that healing must be participated in as much as it is bestowed from you

And from those who heal in your names.

I allow my body and soul to soak up the energy and heal

I open my self to receiving your love and healing

I open my self to receiving your avatars love and healing

I open myself to healing.

Grief is a nasty black dog

The most powerful tool to help someone grieve, at least for me, is to just be there. Cry with me. Laugh with me if I have a seemingly inappropriate memory that makes me laugh. Listen to me. If it’s a group loss, hold each other.

For me, grief is a big black ugly dog and I’m sorry but I don’t like dogs. It follows your around. It sneaks up behind you and trips you when you turn around and you didn’t expect it to be there. It widdles on the carpet and you curse as you clean it up. It looks at you as if you have the answer and you don’t and it makes you feel helpless.

When you aren’t looking it bites and it hurts so much and you can try to figure out how to tell it to go away and it won’t. Eventually it may fade away across the moor but you will still hear it howl far away like some hound of the Baskervilles on dark nights when you really don’t want to be alone and it’s frightening.

Grief is cumulative over a life time and every time someone you love dies that damn dog gets bigger. Mine is currently the size of a big dumb Newfoundland and is trying to crawl in my lap again. I don’t want it. It isn’t cute at all. It slobbers.

I know Hecate has hounds but I’m a cat person. Cats are better at knowing when you need solace and when you need to be left alone.

But now the damn dog is back and I hate it.

Be with my heart

Hecate

Be with my heart

My heart is hurting at the thought of a coming loss

Be with my heart

It remembers too many past losses

Hecate

My family and friends have left me hehind

I wish them well

They stay in my heart and my memory

Be with my heart

Hecate

Be with my heart

When they appear in dreams

Be with my heart

When a scent on the wind reminds me

Hecate

Be with my heart

I hear a song they loved

Be with my heart

When the fall leaves remind me of your coming harvest

Hecate

Be with my heart

So tied with ribbons of the ones I have loved

Be with my heart

When I see they are behind me… waiting

Hecate

Be with my heart

My time is not now

Be with my heart

And remind me that time begins anew each morning

Hecate

Be with my heart

At yet another crossroads

Be with my heart

As it breaks yet again

Hecate

Be with my heart

Be with our hearts

Be with us now

As we face the dark

Be with my heart

It’s Samhain and Hecate is here

I am ordained to three Goddesses, one of whom is Hecate. I don’t worship her. I work with her when she asks and when it is time she is there. I’m going to be doing it again very soon. It is an honour to be asked to priestess the death of a friend. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. Life is full of pain and anyone who works with Hecate is a warrior. You have to be to face the veil. Being a warrior is painful, you have to suck up your pain and face it and go through to do what you need to do but you also have to acknowledge that it is hard and you really don’t want to do it because you know what the outcome will be and it’s a bit selfish because you don’t want to lose the person you love so much.

But you have to do it, she will not be in pain any longer. She will not be alone in her head anymore because that is all she has left. She will not have to struggle to communicate what she needs. But yet again her partner and we, her fellow priestesses have to find our way without her except as a memory or as a thought  or presence when we plan anything without her from now on. We know she will be there but losing her hurts like a son of a gun.

It’s not the first time I will do this and it won’t be the last and I won’t be doing it alone. I will be doing it with Di and I know Laura will be standing waiting for Mary on the other side. She will never be alone except when she passes through the veil. There are only two times we ever are truly alone in our lives, when we are born and come through the veil to this existence and when we die and leave this plane but on either side there are people who are waiting to greet us.

Working with Hecate is not for the faint of heart. The day she claimed me I realized she had always been there. Death has been a companion all my life but the day she appeared to me stands out and it always will.

We were up at the West Coast Women’s Music Festival in Yosemite. When all the witches around me  and myself started to feel this awful feeling that I still can’t quite describe and it was clear that person was dying and was terrified. A bunch of were distressed enough to call a friend from the pay phone that we knew had AIDS and we were sure it was him. What we got was a really pissed off high priest who was not dying and berated us mightily because that would not be the way he was going to go.

We were thoroughly chastened and still feeling whoever was broadcasting and broadcasting at the top of his lungs, there were 6 of us who decided to do a circle up at the campfire while everyone else was down at main stage. We sent my Catholic lover at the time away. She couldn’t figure out what the hell we were by that time crying about and was annoying the hell out of all of us. So the six of us went up and sat, 3 empaths and 3 grounders. We sat every other one so every empath had a grounder on either side and we grabbed each other’s hands. We started singing “We all come from the Godddess” to try and get some sort of connection and when we started the verse about Hoof and Horn we got the picture. Two gay men had gone off the road in their car somewhere in the mountains near us. One was dead and the one that was left was screaming to high heavens and every sensitive around could hear something. So we kept singing every soothing chant we could think of and sending energy and peace as much as the 6 of us could. All 6 were very experienced priestesses and that was a lot of energy. By nature grounders do not generally see things, they tend to sense but not see. The three of us empaths looked up and SAW. The campfire area was on the edge of a cliff. It was straight down into a gorge on the other side from where we were sitting and we looked up and saw a hooded woman in black from there. She came toward us and we knew who she was. She came towards us stopped and nodded in a slight bow of acknowledgement and turned and disappeared over the cliff edge. All the energy she we had raised and sent was gone and the broadcasting stopped. Every bit of energy we had was just gone but we knew we had done something special and sacred. It took us a long time to get together enough energy to get back to our campsite. Kate took my lover aside and explained what we had been doing. My lover besides being a staunch Catholic was also a scientist and her scientist brain went into overdrive. She wanted us to do it again so she could see how it worked. That was the minute I decided it was over and I was never going to date a non-pagan again.

The next morning we talked to all the pagans and witches we knew that were there. They had all felt it and some had gotten terrible headaches because of it but we 6 were the only ones to do something about how we felt.

For weeks afterward I searched the news but a car going off the side of a mountain is not big news. I happens every weekend down here in the Angeles National Forest and I can’t imagine it’s any different up in the Sierras. Most of the time unless it’s a really slow news day you never hear about it and I never found anything but it was pretty much pre-internet so it wasn’t going to be easily findable anyway.

That experience was why I became on call hospice clergy at the Pasadena AIDS Service Center.

Hecate has me when she needs me and this Samhain, she will really have me and stuff is already happening at home. Samhain can be so much fun.