When you are ordained as a priestess in the Fellowship of Isis, you have to have a head wreath, a stole and a wand. When you are consecrated an Arch Druidess in FOI’s Druid Clan of Dana, you bring a wreath a lunula and a staff. I have a tendency to put those things away for safe keeping and don’t use them often. My lunula is a bone moon I’ve had for years that I got at the Ren Faire a long time ago and it’s old enough to have darkened with age to a nice patina but since I was consecrated I really haven’t worn it much. This morning it leapt off the tree I hang all my necklaces on tangled with my crystal BunniHoTep. So I put it on. I can take a hint.
I think I know why. Tomorrow I go in for a colonoscopy and endoscopy to find out if I have cancer. And there are very few things in this world that terrify me, in fact, only two things do, lightning because I’ve been struck and it ain’t fun and the thought of having cancer. My family history with all forms of the disease is very high and very ugly. Yes, we have survivors but we have many that haven’t like my little brother who had multiform gliomabalstoma cancer.
Last time I had a colonoscopy they removed a precancerous polyp that was over an inch across and that was about 8 years ago and my doctor wanted me to come back in a year and have it done again but I lost my job and had no health insurance for 6 years. I should have gone in when I got insurance when I got hired here but ignorance is bliss but about 6 months ago I started having some nasty uncontrollable symptoms and I couldn’t ignore it any longer.
Last time they said drink 2 bottles of cleaner and be done. This time I have 2 pages of instructions. Starting with no milk since last night and I’m a big milk drinker and no raw fruits or vegetables or seeds and nothing red, since yesterday morning. At 9 this morning only clear fluids until the procedure. Tonight at 5 I start drinking 64 oz of some nasty crap, and some magnesium citrate and infant Mylicon. It’s not going to be a fun night. I hope I have enough tp to last through morning. All so I can be clean as a whistle when they start at 10:45 am. I’m soooo not looking forward to this and wondering way to much about how you work radiation and chemo into a work schedule. (Cart before horse, I know) Since the doctor’s fairly certain I have something.
Two very good and much loved friends are coming with me tomorrow and I honour them immensely especially since I probably am not going to be a very happy camper. I’m thinking of wearing my pjs just because I’m going to have to take everything off anyway to get rotorootered from both ends. I hate general anesthesia, no fun Versed this time. I’m having more anxiety than when I did my paper last Sunday. Brighid, Kwan Yin, and Hecate, be with me and Green Man wait for me at the end.
My lunula is from here: http://www.pale-moon.com/index.php?com=home, is you’re curious.
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