This may sound odd but I’m finding grief is changing me and my view point. For awhile after Cam died it was just a big black hole I had somehow fallen into but now it has changed. Or I’m at least noticing the change now. Now it is more like an alle of trees in spring. Where you move in an out of warm sunlight and more and more the warmth of the sunlight is the warmth of his memory in my mind. It’s not painful most of the time. Yes, there are the shadow times but it’s more sunlight now.
Thank heavens though on Christmas we won’t be home. The whole family is going to Disneyland to be as silly as possible and that will be good