I did this last year and burned out when the letters got on the weird side. Let’s see if I can finish this time but I’m going to allow myself the freedom to only post once on a letter if that is all I have to say.
A is for Attitude
What is your default attitude?
Is it the world weary I know all I need to know? Is it ho-hum another day? Is it snarky or cynical or just plain pessimistic?
Or is it ooh, what can the world show me today? What is beautiful that I’m missing?
I’ve written on this before but I think an attitude of wonder is essential to being pagan. If you think that paganism is only in books or only learned in circle or that you can’t do it without a “proper” teacher, or any other reason that it is wonderful to be alive on this plane, you have missed the point.
I feel sorry for you.
And I don’t mean an airy faery kind of everything is always wonderful attitude. I mean seeing what is there and wondering, is it beautiful? Is it something I can help if it’s broken or hurt? Is it something I can appreciate? Or is it something I can just lift up a prayer to the universe to, such as when you see an ambulance. Do you automatically send calming or healing energy? Even if it’s just to the first responders?
I have an inherited predisposition toward depression. I know it isn’t easy. I know how easy it is to be negative but does that help you or anyone around you?
The cure for me is to go stand outside. To take a walk, if I can’t because the weather is too bad, I’ll stand in the open door. It’s one of the many reasons I sleep with the window open. Even if I get cold I know I’m alive and in my body. I spent a great deal of time as a child out of my body and I have to fight the tendency every day to check out into my head. To escape.
To escape pain, To escape a parent’s rage or the other parent’s indifference. To escape into a book or just into my head where they couldn’t reach me and hurt me again. Thank heavens for my grandparents that taught me it was okay to be in my body and feel alive in it. Even if it was something as simple as lying on my stomach on the wraparound porch watching the ants.
So today, what is your attitude? Try to move the default setting to wonder and awe or just compassion and awareness. But move it from self to outside yourself. I think you will be glad you did.
I try to live in a state of awe and wonder. That is my main spiritual tenet. I find that lets me approach the world with an open heart. This is not always easy to do but it enables me and demands I notice the mockingbird singing it’s heart out at 5am on a season that is not usually conducive to mating. He’s a little late but still he’s out there singing.
It enables me to notice on my walk to the bus the bending, swishing heads on the ornamental grasses on the way to the bus. It enables me to forget that if I’m not standing or walking my broken toe doesn’t hurt as much. It enables me to forget that most days I seem to have a sign on me while riding on the bus that says, “Sit next to her and fart.” (especially if it’s going to be silent but deadly).
It lets me appreciate the changing view out my window and still accomplish my assigned set of tasks and not be bored.
I try to see the world as new every moment and that there is always something new to be curious about. That there is always something to ask “why?” about.
That to me is the essence of being a pagan/witch/druid. If you aren’t curious and aware, what is the point if you aren’t doing your best to notice what is around you? Even in the middle of downtown grass will fight through a sidewalk and a pigeon will be somewhere around.
So are you living in wonder or are you wondering why you are living?