Lady Mother, I give thanks:
I give thanks that our highest court stood on the side of love and our families.
I give thanks that one long fight is over at least legally.
I ask that people’s closed hearts be opened and that they see it was just about loving and not about sex.
May they see us and not the prejudice they’ve been taught in an old book.
Help us remember why we did this and all those who are gone that we did this for.
Let us remember there is more to do and that no one deserves to lose their livelihood or the place they live because of who they love.
Be with all those who still suffer due to other people’s hate. Let this become a world more open to love.
Let us love ourselves even when the world may not love us and may every child be loved by their parents because of their heart not who their child’s heart loves.
Help us to all love more.
So mote it be.
While yesterday was a day for joy for many, my heart is grieving for all the ones who didn’t live to see it. My brother would have been so happy. My friend, Art, whose dream was to find some nice Latino boy and settle down. My guys from the AIDS Service Center who just missed lasting long enough to get the cocktail. My friend Kathy, long gone now from cancer. So many faces that longed for a day when everyone was accepted and loved.
I always thought that employment rights and housing would come way before marriage. I know from being harrassed at work for being gay and for being pagan how much it can hurt when you have no recourse. Thankfully, California does have laws now even if sometimes they can be hard to enforce. The AIDS crisis of the ’80s is the reason marriage became important as couple after couple lost everything when their spouse died and their families would swoop in and take everything that belonged to the deceased partner, often leaving the living partner grieving and homeless. Or the well partner locked out of the hospital by the family since they weren’t “next of kin”. So marriage came first before other much needed rights that straight people take for granted.
I can’t help thinking about all the weddings we were cheated out of attending.
Today, I remember those no longer here and I hope they know wherever they are that for once, love won.
There is always someone calling names. For some of us it started when we started school
FOUR-EYES! SHIKSA! BLIND AS A BAT!
My first memories of first grade are the boys calling me names. I was the only kid in glasses. I was the only kid with disabilities and the only non-Jew in my class. That area of North Hollywood was almost exclusively Jewish. Teachers that were Jewish made it clear that I wasn’t wanted too. I remember an older boy running up behind me while I was waiting in line to go into my first grade class and knocking me down and stepping on the back of my head and breaking my glasses. No one did anything about him or did anything to stop him. Thank you, Mrs Soloman!
Or the time in 3rd grade the teacher announced to the whole class after state testing that I was reading at 10th grade level. It took all of 30 seconds at recess for the pinches and punches to start because the teacher added that the rest of them shouldn’t let a Gentile do better than them. So Thank you Mrs Camp!
EGGHEAD! KNOW IT ALL! SHOWOFF!
It’s no different now. Boys and men call names. They do it to hurt and to control. There are so many names they call women to hurt.
BITCH! WHORE! CUNT!
The problem with name calling is that eventually you get de-sensitized to it. When most people start getting called names in Junior Hi or now, middle school, they can’t handle it. This caused a weird problem for me when I was called names again in Junior Hi. I had been so bullied in my elementary school before we finally moved that I didn’t recognize it or pay attention. This lead to a weird sort of admiration on the part of some people because I didn’t react. They didn’t know that I by then had learned not to hear it.
TOOTHPICK! WASHBOARD! THERMOMETER!
Oh those were so original. Yeah, I knew I was skinny and flat chested but I’m smarter than you. So what! It went in one ear and out the other. Are the names supposed to tell me something I don’t already know? My dad was fond of teasing me at that point. He’d say “two peas of a washboard” but I could wear an undershirt and not one of those awful contraptions with stays like my gym partner who was a 40d in 7th grade and always had bandaids under her bra.
DYKE! LEZZIE! And from the really stupid, FAGGOT!
Words used by men again to shame and control but what if there is no shame? I’m not ashamed to be an out lesbian. I have been since 1979. There is nothing wrong with loving people who are like yourself and look like you do.
WITCH! HAG! CRONE!
More words to control women, Heaven forbid we show that we are aging. We are all supposed to look 20 forever? Hell no! I wouldn’t go back to be 20 for anything. I like that I’m aging! I like that I have grey and white hair. Not so found of the things like arthritis but then I got that diagnosis when I was 9 and had already been in dance and gymnastics for 3 years. And yes, I’m a Witch, I have been for over 30 years. Tell me something I don’t know. Names again to control how a woman behaves and lives. Even the worst word a boy could be called in grade school made sure the other boys thought he was feminine. “Sissy!”
TERF! CIS! SWERF!
So now we have the latest words to come along and again they are being used on women by men to shame them into behaving. This kind of male, when they were six, were mean and evil and now when they are grown and claiming they have the non-existent “laydee brain” are still mean and evil and they need to grow up. It didn’t work then and it ain’t going to work now.
I’m rubber you’re glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you!