Maybe TMI but it’s the would you like cheese with your whine sort of day

I’ve always had digestive issues since birth but in the last few years it’s gotten really bad and was what led me to all the testing that revealed I had the huge ovarian tumour and tons of scar tissue in my abdomen last January. One thing I learned when I had my hysterectomy in 1996 was that when they mess with your intestines You can get a form of IBS but it is eventually supposed to go away. (They had to take most of my intestines out and clean off fibroids and put it all back.) My surgeon told me at the time that they were cranky because they had been in the same place for 42 years then and moving them made them upset. (which gave me visions of my innards marching around with picket signs that said things lie “Management is unfair” &“ Strike”)

But it did eventually calm down to just the usual things like an ulcer that likes to play peekaboo but about a year and half before the surgery last January I started having real problems again. And I had the surgery and my innards went on strike again but this time it hasn’t stopped and in the last month or so it’s ramped up. I’ve had diarrhea constantly for about 2 weeks now and am nauseated most of the time.

I’m living on Imodium which used to last about 48 hours on one pill and now if I’m  lucky lasts 6 so I’ve been taking it when I get to work and let it wear off and hope I get home without an accident. They have a new kind of Imodium which is supposed to be kinder and gentler and reduce cramping and gas, uh, they lied. When it wears off, it’s one exit no waiting, T minus 10 to explosion. So not fun. And it hurts and I’m being a weinie about it.

I just want to roll in a ball somewhere like a pillbug and wait for it to stop. Not exactly a good plan for getting things done at work.

I’ve tried about everything I can think of dietwise. It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s going to revisit me fairly quickly. I was even desperate enough to cut out milk for a day even though that would be really unusual for a Scandanavian (according to my Gastro), didn’t matter. High fiber, low fiber, high acid, low acid, doesn’t matter. Right now I’m dreaming of pancakes because I promised my sister I’d take her to dinner. Sigh…

I had blood work done last week and other than my A1C being too high probably because carbs like toast are easier on my system, everything was normal.

I did find this cool list of euphemisms for the doing the Aztec Twostep, Who knew there were so many?

Anyway I have a doctor appt with my Gastro on Tuesday because they had a cancellation, Usually it’s a month wait. Who knew you could get excited about going to the poke and prod? Even though I dearly love this doctor.

apple-blossom two-step
arse piss
Aztec two-step
back-door trots
backyard trots / b.d.t.
banana (splits)
belly works
bitties, the
Bombay bottom
boot-hill two-step
bum gravy / bum soup
chickenshits, the
cocktails, the
cow’s courant
crab-apple two-step
craps, the
Delhi belly
dribbling shits
drippy tummy
drizzlies, the
dry rots
Eartha Kitts
Edgar Britts
Far East Two-step
flying handicap
green-apple quickstep / green death
gringo gallop
gyppy tummy
Hershey squirts
Hong Kong dog
Jimmy Britts
Mexicali revenge
Mexican foxtrot / toothache / two-step
Montezuma’s revenge
nicker bits
Rangoon runs
running belly
runs, the
Saint Moritz
shits, the
shitters, the
Singapore tummy
skitters, the
sour-apple quickstep
Spanish tummy
squirts / wild squirt
squitters, the
threepenny bits
Tijuana cha-cha
tommy guns
Turkey trot
two-bob bit
William Pitts
Zachary Scotts
Zasu Pitts


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