The Talkative Introvert

 

The other day, someone said, “He can’t be an Introvert. He never shuts up.”

Ah. The seeming paradox of the “talkative Introvert.” They can be very confusing to their friends and colleagues. One minute they are chatty friends who appear to be Extraverts. Then suddenly they withdraw to be alone. Are they mad or upset? No. They just want some time to be by themselves to recharge, as all Introverts must. Meanwhile, some in their circle may wonder what is going on.

Introverts are quite capable of holding court and long conversations when the mood strikes them. In fact, as evidence, sometimes Introverts are the chattiest people in the room. For example, lest we forget, all kinds of entertainers and public figures are Introverts. If these people plan to sway large numbers of people as a celebrity or a politician must to succeed, they can’t do it by just standing there and looking pretty. Generally, they need to be verbal, and their being Introverts doesn’t impede that.

So, where does the confusion come in and why do some people see the talkative Introvert as a bit of a mystery? Here are some things to consider:

First, shyness and Introversion are often confused. Shyness is based on fear and Introversion is based on fundamental preference for quiet and looking inward. Introverts are not necessarily afraid to talk. They just choose not to. (Some Introverts, of course, are shy as well. However, that doesn’t mean they all are.)

Second, in many cultures – especially in the West – Extraversion is the coin of the realm. Globally, it appears that more people are Extraverts than Introverts. Research also suggests that Extraverts are happier, have more friends and make more money. Extraverted qualities are generally seen as more acceptable and attractive. Since that’s the case, adaptive Introverts may find themselves behaving more like Extraverts for social and professional gain. It doesn’t make them any less Introverted. Just more effective in certain situations.

Third, Introverts often have a lot of meaningful things to say – and it may come out all at once. They are generally deep, contemplative people. Why not share some of their thoughts? There’s nothing inherently Introverted about keeping these thoughts to themselves.

From 16 Personalities

3 thoughts on “The Talkative Introvert

  1. WelI, the thing is, we are different persons on different days and It becomes a source of great misunderstanding.

    I can be the life of the party and more often than not, I need a lot of thinking time and the pleasure of my own company. I have never been lonesome being by myself in my life. Yet people who know me call me an “Extrovert”

    I am not entirely sure why we love to put people in little pigeonholes anyway. I guess it’s tidy…
    But We do not live in a black and white world ( thank goodness for that. ) and we will constantly surprise and delight or p.o. each other despite our neat little labels. It is wonderful.

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