So until this is over and I’m well again, I’m going to be blogging a lot about my cancer journey, so you can skip over these posts as they may not always be funny but writing is my way of processing information.
I’m strangely calm about the diagnosis most of the time. Other than having had a case of the runs for a year and a half most of the time I don’t feel that sick. I have found that some of the symptoms I assumed were from other things weren’t , things like back pain and weight gain around my tummy. Evidently unlike most cancers, ovarian cancer can have weight gain and make your pants feel really tight around the middle which I guess makes sense if you are concealing a tumour that is bigger than a grapefruit. I’ve been losing inches in my legs and butt and boobs but my pants were getting tighter not smaller.
I hadn’t bought many new clothes since I got this job 2 and a half years ago but with impending abdominal surgery. I got three pairs of really soft pants in the men’s dept at Target. They seem to be a really light fleece. I also ordered some soft fleece lined leggings from Amazon. I learned with my hysterectomy and gall bladder soft pants are wonderful ‘cause putting on your jeans just ain’t an option.
I’m feeling very loved. That helps too. Lots of people have sent prayers and wishes. It makes me feel not so alone on my journey. Next Wednesday I see the oncologist and probably schedule the surgery. They registered me at one hospital already but I’d rather be another that would be more accessible. My sister would have no way to get to Arcadia but she can take the Gold Line to Huntington and I know a lot of people at Huntington. We’ll see.
Meanwhile I’m taking one day at a time and trying to enjoy it.
Brighid watch over us
May your flame light our way
Through the night
Through the storms
Through our tears
May your waters sooth and heal
Heal our hearts,
Heal our bodies,
Heal our minds.
May your forge make us strong
Strong enough to fight what needs to be fought
Strong enough to accept what can’t be
Strong enough to stand under the burdens we accept
Brighid, we burn your flame
We drink from your well
We are strong when we are weak because we have your blessing
We drink from your well to be healed
We walk in the mist following your footsteps.
We carry your flame with us and give to all who need it.
Brighid, we are your flames in the world.