I think I just heard the scariest words in the English language, at least to me, “You have a mass and we don’t know what it is. We’re scheduling you for a biopsy.” The doctor called about 24 hours after my MRI. The fact that she called me directly mid afternoon told me it wasn’t good news. Normally if she is going to call me it’s after hours. She said she was sending the referral to the OBGYN and they would schedule the biopsy.
But I still have no diagnosis. Just that it’s a mass with solid parts and parts that aren’t solid and may be cystic. And the still have no clue where my ovaries have wandered off to. They haven’t uploaded the report to the website yet, they called the doctor when they looked at it. That alone made my buzzers go off ding, ding, ding, Danger Will Robinson!
I shouldn’t look in my Merck Manual either because then I really scare the crap out of myself. Under abdominal tumours it has the lovely statement that tumours in post menopausal women are almost always cancerous. I did not need to read that. It’s because there is no estrogen fueling the tumour if your post menopausal.
I did have one funny thing happen. They got the iv in and were about to flush it with saline before putting in the gadnolinium and I felt this awful pain and looked up to see the two nurses with their eyebrows somewhere near their hairlines. My vein had thrown the needle clear out of my hand. They’d never had that happen before. Denise thinks Mary came and yanked it out. They wrapped my hand in ice packs and did manage to get it in my other hand with minimal bruising and none in the hand that had rejected the needle. That in itself is weird because I always bruise at least a little. They were using my hand because I’ve been stuck so much other places with the contrast in two CT scans and all the blood testing.
Not having a good day, sigh.
Four of Stones
A newborn fawn shelters beneath a dolmen as the midsummer dawn rises, bringing hope and renewed vitality to the vulnerable.
Shelter and protection for the weak or the spiritually wounded is the responsibility of us all.
Nurturing parental care. A roof over one’s head. A period of stability. Time to foster your tender heart