Archive | July 14, 2015

A prayer for today

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Brighid, Kwan Yin and Hecate

Be with those who walk the twilight path

And be with those who watch them go.

Brighid, they walk a path lighted with your flame

A flame that those watching cannot see but have to trust is there

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Kwan Yin, they walk your healing way

And those who watch cannot see the healing

Hecate, you wait with your arms waiting to greet them

And accompany them on that path.

Please reassure those who have sent them to you

Let us know they are safe.

The walker holds our hearts, knowing and unknowing

Brighid, Kwan Yin and Hecate

Comfort those of us left behind

We grieve too early, the walker is not gone yet.

She is just gone from us.

She is in a different time and place from us.

Let her know she is always in our hearts

We await the times in the next life we will meet under the trees

We wait at the door we can’t pass through yet

It isn’t our time

We will follow you and the Green Lady

To where our own paths lead.

Our time is not yet.

We hold open hearts

We love and we honour each of our paths

Our time is not now

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How hearts break

Hearts can get broken in tiny increments and hearts can be broken in the flash of an ax. When you love someone with a terminal disease your heart breaks in tiny painful and deep slices. When you love someone with the terminal disease if they pass into dementia, the blow lands hard and is no longer a tiny slice, it is the ax blow. And you stand alone helpless because now you get no feedback that is positive and it hurts.

M has now passed into the realm of dementia. Dementia for each person seems to be a different place. Sometimes there are lucid moments that can steal your breath and hope springs because you think they might stay but then they slip back into that faeryland and you lose them again and it hurts even more. Some dementia is a land the loved one never returns from and you stand there a stranger to the one you love, adrift and bereft of any comfort because you no longer are part of their landscape.

M can’t even really communicate what that new land she ventures into is like because the ALS has stolen that too. D’s heart is breaking and I know Di and mine are too.

M is our sister in our Grove, she is a sunny spot in the four of us. She is a vital piece in our friendship and she is passing into the realms of faery. She doesn’t know where she is and she has lost where she is in our time.

I wish I could be there for D, but at the moment that isn’t possible and it hurts my heart.

This isn’t the first time in my life that life has turned cruel and it won’t be the last but it doesn’t get any easier.