Archive | June 21, 2015

Men, transwomen, and gaslighting

Gender Is War

How many times has a man tried to tell me who I really am and how I should feel? How many times have they lost it when I rejected their bullshit and showed them my boundaries?  Often enough to make me a fucking expert on the subject.

I’m intimately familiar with claims that when I say no it’s abuse, and when I refuse to back down to their aggression, I’m victimizing them. That withholding my support and validation is destroying their lives. Typically these claims are shouted from close range, with balled fists and red faces.

That’s why I have this weird deja vu about some of the men who identify as women. Actually I don’t care how they identify. But wait — not caring is not an option. I have to loudly admire their choice, or I’m being abusive. I have to center their needs in my…

View original post 126 more words

Banning lesbians – same sex attraction is not bigotry

Listening to Lesbians

I have avoided writing about this because I know what the reaction can be like and I have seen what happens to women who do speak publicly about this.

I have tried quite hard to discuss various issues WITHOUT addressing this because it is polarising, causes people to stop thinking, and leads to abuse and harassment. Moreover it is difficult to write anything nuanced on this topic without people misinterpreting and wilfully misrepresenting your words. And then there’s the ever-so-trendy hate that rains down on those that state publicly what others keep quiet about.

But I know that not writing about this is being silenced. I have “allowed” myself to be silenced on this just as many other women have, because of potential fallout.

And there is no amount of staying quiet that can keep us safe as lesbians, because there is an attempt from some to redefine the word lesbian to exclude…

View original post 1,129 more words