Good thing I really liked Pride and Prejudice
Once upon a time during a full moon BunniHoTep decided she was going to spend a nice quiet evening down at her lotus pool. So she gathered a blanket and bid her priestesses good night and went to have a nice evening. As she got around the corner of the temple she heard noises in the direction of the pool. Who was spoiling her nice quiet evening?
She hopped hurriedly to her pool and found Heqet, the frog goddess, Ammit and one of her smaller priestesses lying on their backs having an argument. BunniHoTep was quite surprised about the whole thing. She knew Hequet almost never had a free full moon night. She was the goddess of childbirth and babies liked to arrive on full moons and what had lured Ammit out of her den on a full moon night? Ammit didn’t like being in seen in bright light normally and even more than that what was her priestess doing out of bed? The moon was high in the sky and she should have been in bed long ago.
BunniHoTep laughed to herself as she listened to them argue. They were arguing about who was seen on the moon’s face. Hequet saw herself in the moon and Ammit saw a beautiful lady in the moon and BunniHoTep’s priestess saw her goddess in the moon because she knew Isis had placed BunniHoTep’s likeness in the moon. Everyone knew that!
BunniHoTep couldn’t stand it any longer and burst out laughing. The three sat up and looked at her. The Priestess lay back down in a hurry. She knew she shouldn’t be out of bed but it had been such a beautiful night and she liked Ammit so she had snuck out to enjoy the evening.
BunniHoTep looked at her priestess. “What are you doing out of bed?” and tried to look sternly at her priestess. Stern looks sit oddly on a happy rabbit’s face.“It was such a nice night and Ammit was here so I thought I’d enjoy the moon?” The priestess said trying to look innocent.
“All right, you can stay for a while longer as long as you are bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.”
The priestess lay back down with a smile.
“But what was all this arguing about who was in the moon?” asked BunniHoTep.Ammit and Heqet looked at each other.
The frog headed goddess croaked out. “We were just having a nice discussion about who was painted on the moon.
”BunniHoTep laughed, “It wasn’t sounding all that friendly when I heard it and why do you have to have one painting on the moon’s face?”
Ammit spoke up, “How can there be more than one thing on the moon?” Ammit squinted up at the bright disc.
”“What if you’re all right?” said BunniHoTep.
“How can we all be right?” asked her priestess.
“Well,” said BunniHoTep, “What if you see what you need to see at the moment you are looking at the moon? People of all shapes and sizes see all kinds of things in the moon. Horus sees his right eye in the moon. Isis put me up there for some to see. Some people see Heqet on the moon and some people even see a crab in the moon and lots and lots of people see a man or woman in the moon. They all have stories and they are all right.”
“How can they all be right!” croaked Heqet. She was a little annoyed she might not be painted on the moon.
“The moon belongs to everyone. It guides people and I don’t think she cares what she looks like to anyone and people like to tell stories. I think she can be whatever she needs to be. A guide to a woman in labour. A comfort to a lonely person here on earth. The moon lets us know we aren’t alone and that everyone anywhere can enjoy her and tell stories. She shines on all of us alike.”
“Oh,” the three said, “That makes sense.”The three settled back down and BunniHoTep joined them around the pool. The four friends chatted and pointed out their favourite constellations and stories about the moon and the stars until they were all yawning and trudged off to bed.
Geb and Nuit gave her the job of watching the shards of the egg that was left from the creation of the Sun. The egg is now kept in Thoth’s Temple. She became so adept at finding the small shards Geb and Nuit gave her a promotion to the Goddess of finding lost objects. And so she remains to this day, a finder of lost objects. So when you lose your other sock, your keys or your best friend you must ask nicely of Her and She, if She is willing will help you find your lost things. But you must remember some things are best left unfound and undisturbed. She can also be invoked during the spring ritual of egg hunts when real eggs have been used. The kind of hunt that the only other way you will find those missing eggs is some time in summer and you find them by their smell.
She is known by:
The Moon circlet that Isis gave her. All her priestesses are entitled to where a circlet like BunniHoTep’s or the can wear one with a rabbit on it.
Her preferred offerings are Chocolate rabbit effigies (dark or milk but not white chocolate) and eggs, sweet new lettuce, (no iceberg) carrots, radishes and new greens of any kind.
BunniHotep’s priestesses are entitled to wear soft brown robes like BunniHoTep’s fur. The fact that they resemble the robes of a religious order of a certain space opera does not matter. BunniHoTep is older that that space opera and does not come from a galaxy far, far away.
In the 3rd dynasty a schism developed in the Priestesshood. Those that ate the feet first of the effigies were called the H.O.P.pers or the Holy Order of Priestesses. The Priestesses who ate the ears first are the L.E.A.P.ers. or the Lagomorphically Easily Accessible Priestesses. These Priestesses were not antagonistic to each other just adamant about how to accept their ritual offerings. The H.O.P.pers took over the outside duties of the Temple such as gardening and sweeping the Temple steps and the L.E.A.P.ers took over the inside duties of the Temple such as cleaning and accounting and tending To BunniHoTep’s personal needs. BunniHoTep’s Priestesses in turn give back to the community.
Attending To BunniHoTep’s personal needs. BunniHoTep’s Priestesses in turn give back to the community by sharing BunniHoTep’s effluent as rich fertilizer to the faithful. They lead finding rituals daily for supplicants who have lost important objects. There are monthly rituals for finding missed opportunities and for lost causes. These are done with the New Moon. There is a yearly inundation ritual for the opening of hearts that corresponds to the fertilization of the lands around the Nile banks.
To be a Priestess you must be able to perform the ritual dance of the Priestesshood:
The steps are; right kick twice, left kick twice, hop forward, hop backward. hop, hop, hop forward. The music that accompanies this ritual dance goes: Da, da ,da, da.da,da, Dah, Dah, Dah,. Da, da,da,da,da,da DAH< DAH< DAH! Repeat.
Persons carrying rabbit’s feet into the temple will be asked to leave the temple and not return for this is considered very bad form. And punishable by any luck you have leaving immediately.
To be a Priestess of BunniHoTep one must commit to finding that which has been lost, seeing the bright side of life and finding the beauty in things that others find ugly. And to not bop field mice on the head, that is the wrong rabbit.
One must commit to making random acts of beauty and kindness and to do it without fanfare. Rabbits are camouflaged for a reason.
Haunting drawings, frozen in time for 100 years, discovered in Oklahoma school