Archive | June 2, 2015

Just when I had started to relax last night

Last night I was laying on the couch when I heard the camellia on the other side of the window scratching on the glass and I just thought it was the wind. But it kept thrashing harder and I thought, wow, it’s really getting windy and then…

I looked out the window and yelled, At first glance in the dark it looked like a strange skull was floating in the bush because all I could see what the black and white outlines in the bush through the glass in the dark.

But it was what my sister and I used to call the vine creature because the unseen creature was in the honeysuckle or bignonia vines outside my bedroom at home.

No, it was an opossum and it was about 4 inches away through the glass in the dark.

I did not need that excitement.

Why this Josh Duggar thing sets me on fire.

This Duggar thing is infuriating to me. I know how those girls feel and I bet they think they were the ones who did something wrong. I was molested when I was 6 by the man next door. The last time it happened his wife walked in and started yelling and I thought I had done something wrong. Their daughter was my best friend and when things got bad at home I went over there to what I thought was a safe space.

They moved within a few days of her discovering us. And for years I kept it hidden. When I finally remembered the whole thing I got back into therapy for a long time. I still hate when people walk up to me on my blind side because that was what she did when she started screaming.

My therapist told me not to ask my mom why she never did anything and I should have listened because I asked my mom if she knew it was happening and her response to me at the time was, “You aren’t going to make trouble for him, are you?” Mind you he would probably have been in his 70’s at least by then.

So when people talk about Josh Duggar and how awful he is, I think about those girls and that some were his sisters and they have to look at him every day and wonder what they did to deserve it. They’re trapped by their religious cult, thank heavens, I was not.

When people say someone who this happened to is brave, we aren’t. It’s an event and it happened and you learn how to go on. It’s no different than having a disability. You don’t know any different until someone else makes a fuss. It is what it is and it’s part of your personality. That being said, Josh Duggar needs to have done to him as he did to others who had no defense.

Knot of Isis

Knot of Isis:

Just because

At the end of the universe
A blood red cord
Binds life to death and will to destiny
Let the knot of that red sash
Bind us together
Cradling our hips and weaving all our dreams.

(Chours) We are the knot where the whole world meets
Red magic passes through our veins
Magic of magic
Spirit of spirit
We are the power of Isis

We are bound mind to mind
We are bound heart to heart
Heaven in one hand
Earth in the other
We will walk in harmony


Give us not consolation
Give us Magic!
Give us the spell of living well
Give us Magic!

Chorus and
We are the power of Isis
We are the power of Isis
We are the power of Isis

Original translation from the Book of going forth – Normandy Ellis

Happy Birthday to me, not so much

Today is my 61st birthday and it’s smack in a Mercury Retrograde, oh joy! I rarely have a good retrograde and last night it hit full bore. Our landlady claims we are missing a half a month’s rent. We aren’t and if we were she would have been on our doorstep yelling at us. The owner who isn’t the manager/landlady says it’s missing. She is crazy. When I asked when this missing half month rent was? Sometime in the last 4 years and we have to come up with it or start eviction proceedings, as of this month we have lived there 14 years and the owner is the cheapest person you will ever meet.

When we needed a new stove she replaced it with one that when you cleaned the marks on the dials came off, the first time it was cleaned. The blinds in the south window melted about 15 years ago and she has never replaced them. And she wants more money. ARGHHHHH!

And my intestines are on one of their rampages and the cancer retesting isn’t til the 22nd.

I wouldn’t mind being old if I felt well.

Anyway, Happy birthday to me, I hate Mercury Retrograde!

The Religiosity of Silence by John Erickson

John Erickson, sports, coming out.In 2013, I wrote an article about the then latest reality TV scandal featuring A&E’s Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson and his rampant foot-in-mouth disease that caused him to express, in the pages of GQ, his true distaste for the LGBT community and specifically for the sexual proclivities of gay men.

Now, two years later in another reality TV show, TLC’s ’19 Kids and Counting’, it isn’t star Josh Duggar’s anti-LGBT statements getting him into trouble but rather his sexual assault and molestation of 5 girls, including two of his sisters. However, while the Internet explodes with attacks against Josh Duggar and his Quiverfull background, it is vital to remember that the silence that he and his family inflicted upon his victims since 2006 has not only been ongoing since then but is also being reemphasized today with each keystroke focusing on the assailant rather than the victims.

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Today’s reading


Four of Wands

Celebration of health, wealth and security. A time to relax and enjoy the bounty of good fortune or labour. A holiday or festival in a time of plentiful fertility and creativity.

Enjoyment of nature, celebration, of the summer with friends, party atmosphere, being outdoors, feeling of freedom and fun.