Poetry month – Celibacy

Because of I’m being lazy again and because of something someone said to me about relationships on Saturday, I give you a song I wrote in 1984.  And no, I don’t feel like this at the moment and once when I sang it in concert at the Western States Gay and Lesbians United, I ended up in a 2 year relationship I had a really hard time escaping from. It was just something funny to me at the time. I did get a standing ovation though. 🙂

Celibacy, Celibacy,
Overrated Lunacy,
Celibacy, Celibacy,
Unwedded bliss is not for me.

Bars are not the place for me
I develop paralysis of mouth and knee
Yes, it’s possible to die of hesitancy
I guess the woman in my life is me.

Celibacy, Celibacy,
Just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be
Celibacy, Celibacy,
Maybe I need some vitamin E

In my brain there must be a vacancy
Was a nun what I was really meant to be?
But certain kinds of women really frighten me
Especially women built like Mr. “T”

Celibacy, Celibacy,
Complicated idiocy
Celibacy, Celibacy,
As opposed to plurality

I know this is not feminist liturgy
Or something covered with great militancy
But I’m getting tired of being correct politically
If the only woman in my life is me.

Celibacy, Celibacy,
Result of total abstinency
Celibacy, Celibacy,
Let’s hear it for cupidity

Now celibacy is fine for recovery
And independence was a great discovery
Am I depriving myself of intimacy?
If the only woman in my life is me?

Celibacy, Celibacy,
Wrecking with my destiny
Celibacy, Celibacy,
Acts of utter obstinancy

So this is a personal ad for me
I like music of the Scots and I hate TV
I like swinging in the park and mountains not the sea
But I don’t expect and answer…
Because the greatest chicken in my life, is me,

Celibacy, Celibacy,
The result of sheer complacency
Celibacy, Celibacy,
Will surely Be the end of me!

Mary Beth Robb copyright 1984

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