Archive | March 13, 2015

I hate phonies

I’m a person who was born into a woman’s body and I love other women. I’m a lesbian and I’m not a feminine person. I can’t remember the last time I put on a dress. I wore a kilt to my brother’s funeral but a kilt is not in any way shape or form a dress. Saying that to most kilt wearing people may get you kilt.

I’m attracted to other women. I am not attracted in the slightest to men, whether they still call themselves men or not. And the idea that someone can call themselves a woman and demand that they are now lesbians doesn’t make them attractive to lesbians who were born women and one of the reasons they aren’t attractive is they are often aping extremely feminine behaviours. I am not attracted to extremely feminine women and an awful lot of transwomen are lipstick and dress wearing people who act incapable and helpless because that is how they think women act. I can’t stand women who act incapable and helpless. A real woman who is attractive to lesbians is capable, adaptable and smart. They are more than what they are wearing and so much more than a set of constructed unnatural behaviours. That’s a big part of the problem, transwomen come across as big phonies. And when they are acting that way they tend to model their behaviour on what other transwomen are doing instead of looking at how a person who was born a woman is acting and that ain’t the same thing at all. And they aren’t comfortable people to be around.

If you go on Twitter and other social networks there are a lot of people who used to be male who are demanding that women born women lesbians have sex with them because they are lesbians too. If they were really lesbians they would know that very few lesbians haven’t dealt with rejection in dating and know no woman is attracted to every other woman. Women don’t think that way. Men think that way, as if all people in the body of a woman should be available to them and that the word “no” doesn’t exist. Women know the word “no” exists. They also know that men don’t believe in the word “no” when something gets in the way of what they think they should own or be able to do.

No one can demand that someone be attracted to them. That is about the most unattractive thing I can think of. You want to be attractive? Be comfortable in your own skin. Don’t mimic other people’s behaviour. Don’t be disgustingly princess feminine. Be yourself and if someone is attracted to you, great. If they aren’t maybe someone else will be, you cannot demand lesbians be attracted to you and sleep with you. We may not be feminine but we are still women and we like other women who are themselves not people who are pale images of women. A matching handbag and Jimmy Choo’s in size 15 and a ton of makeup doesn’t make you a woman and it doesn’t make you attractive to women. It makes about as much sense to a lesbian as Fox News does to thinking people.

‘Everyday Feminism’: Masculinity is a universe, and we’re all stars. Except the lesbians.

Jeanne de Montbaston

Image via flickr.com/photos/sshreeves and http://www.autostraddle.com/150-years-of-lesbians-144337/ Image via flickr.com/photos/sshreeves and http://www.autostraddle.com/150-years-of-lesbians-144337/

The photo above is one you may have seen before. It, and a collection of other photos from the Victorian and Edwardian eras have been collected together here, in 2012, as a tribute to 150 years of women’s history. It’s a lovely picture. I think most people enjoy the idea of looking at something like this and imagining the story behind it. And, it’s fun to try to glimpse a part of history that’s often hard to recover – the lives of women in same-sex relationships before those relationships were socially condoned, let alone celebrated. But, at the same time, it makes me uneasy. The woman who set up the initial collection of photos explains herself carefully, noting that we can’t always know whether women in photos like this – taken so long ago – would have understood themselves to be ‘lesbians’ in any modern…

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