Archive | July 14, 2014

Those lines in the sand…,

Stone of Destiny

Do you remember when we had to wait until five o’clock to watch the news?

No matter what was happening, or where, we had to wait to hear about it until the ‘after-school’ entertainment programs ended.  Only then, after the advertisers had their say, and with a brief orchestral fanfare, would we learn of the important world events which had transpired that day.

Oh sure, on occasion there might be something SO shocking, as to bring those fateful words into our living rooms…,

“We interrupt this broadcast for a special news report…,”

All conversation would stop as we held our collective breath.

“…reportedly will announce his resignation tonight…”

“…was found at his home in Memphis, not breathing…”

“…at the Washington Hilton Hotel, when shots were fired…”

“…obviously a major malfunction…”

“…federal building in Oklahoma City…”

It was a different era, one which had already begun to slip away by the…

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Day 12 Karma or no Karma, lessons learned – 30 Days of Druidry

I don’t like the scheduled topics for the next few days of 30 days of Druidry. So I’m taking a left turn. The Celts allegedly believed they were spiritual beings having earthly or physical experiences

I couldn’t figure out why I had no desire at all to go to the Isis birthday ritual at the beach. I really care for the women of TOILA but I couldn’t even make myself participate in the planning or even want to go this time. I finally realized it was grief. I didn’t want to do it without the people who weren’t going to be there. Too many holes in the line of women.

Spending time with D&M and Di always hits me when I come home. I want to get right back on a plane and go back up to OR. I miss them and I know the time with Mary is fleeing away. I want those moments. It’s selfish but I want them anyway and I can’t get the time back.

I miss Laura, our Heiromum. She was our Arch Druidess for the Grove and our head cat herder at the Isis birthday rituals and since Laura died others have dropped away too and I miss them too. I might have gone if DI had gone but she needed to be with her boys after 5 days with our Grove. So I’m afraid I was a coward and didn’t go.

I’m losing my kitty and still can’t bring myself to have her put to sleep. It will be soon and it hurts my heart. And on July 30 it will be the anniversary of my brother’s death. It will be 9 years and it still hurts and it will always be a hole in my heart.

I don’t believe in karma. I don’t believe doing good things necessarily gets you good things and that doing bad things gets you bad things. I do believe we all choose to learn lessons while we are here and that sometimes we are other people’s lessons as well and that some things really have nothing to do with anything we have done and all we can do is choose to learn to be more loving and kind even when it isn’t about us.

Things happen in life. Even if there are no lessons from whatever you believe in, we can choose to learn something. We can learn to adapt. We can learn that sometimes we have to reach out for help and sometimes we can reach out to help. We can learn that sometimes you are just supposed to be there and not do anything but be in the moment, just be. And sometimes we learn that hearts can break over and over again but that we need to keep loving or what’s the point. Grief as I’ve said before means that I loved someone and that’s never a bad thing.