I’ve been thinking a lot about the shootings because women didn’t fulfil the shooter’s fantasy and the comments some men have made that “Not all men are like that” and I finally have to say something.
If you have ever gone out with your buddies and one of them commented on a woman for “not putting out” or about her body, and you didn’t call them on it. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever heard a man catcall at a woman and didn’t stop it. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever told a woman she should wear make up or shave or pluck something or wear anything she didn’t want to wear. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever judged a woman or girl on her looks alone and didn’t speak to her first. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever watched anybody harass a woman and didn’t stop it. You are a coward and part of the problem.
If you have ever favoured your boy child over your girl child or tried to steer her to a “girl” toy and not the train set she wants. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever had your daughter peacefully playing with her toy and her brother takes it and you tell her, “it’s his turn now.” you have taught your daughter she is not as good as a boy and you are part of the problem.
If you daughter tells you someone molested her and you ask her if she is going to make trouble. You are part of the problem.
If your daughter asks you how she looks and you tell her “No one will be looking at you”. You are part of the problem.
If you tell your daughter, she’s a little chunky. Her self esteem and body image just went into the toilet and you are part of the problem.
If you’ve ever gone out with “the boys” and spent the night commenting on the “nice piece of ass”, you are part of the problem.
If you’ve ever looked at a woman and judged her by what she was wearing and assumed it was an invitation instead her just pleasing herself by looking good. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever thought a woman was too smart or too educated or interested in things you don’t think women should be interested in. You are part of the problem.
If you have ever participated in online gaming and didn’t call the guy on saying he was “going to rape” someone, you are part of the problem.
If you called a woman a bitch or a cunt or a whore just because she said something you didn’t like whether she was right or not or even if she wasn’t polite, you are part of the problem.
So yes, all women deserve to be looked at as full human beings. They aren’t the blonds, the red heads or the brunettes. They aren’t the part of the body that has you looking at them. They are whole people. They have brains and feelings and thoughts and are interested in the same things men are interested in. Women can be interested in doing absolutely anything from childcare to astrophysics.
Women are not role players in your game of life. We are your sisters and daughters and wives. Would men say the things they say to women they don’t know if the woman turned around and was their mother or sister? We are all someone’s sister or aunt or mother or daughter. Treat us all with dignity or as you would like to be treated. Women are allowed to say no and mean it. You are allowed to listen and stop and think and not be what my friend Art used to say. He said that once a man stopped thinking he was only good for being a mail cart to be steered around by the handle. Men are you thinking, empathetic beings or are you just good for being mail carts?
Women are not parts of body. They are not fetish objects. As Mary Shear said, “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” We all need to be feminists.