I had to delete 2 comments from the posting “There is always a choice” and I’m not surprised that the two comments were from men. One comment was asked “what about sti” by which I assume he meant, STDs? How does that even come into whether a woman has a choice in not being raped?
Quite frankly, it has nothing to do with whether a man chooses whether or not to take what has not been freely given. And a lot of STDs and other passed things start with men. Lesbians who do not ever sleep with a man don’t get HPV and they don’t get yeast infections. That is a gift that comes attached to sperm. When I was on call clergy for the AIDS Service Center I can’t tell you how many women came in with full blown AIDS because their spouse was doing it on the down low and carrying it back to their oblivious wife. I know it was about once a week we would get some shattered woman who was now having to deal with the double blow of a philandering partner and a deadly disease.
The other was a comment about it taking two. No, rape doesn’t really take two when there is an unwilling partner whether the man feels “lead on” or not. No means NO! It doesn’t mean maybe. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have come if you didn’t want it. It doesn’t mean well you choose to wear that so I can. No means NO!.
There are a few men that have found that out the hard way with me. One when I was the AWS President (All women students ) at my junior college, one of the other legislators had drunk his lunch and decided since I was working in our office alone behind the automatically locking door I must want sex. My daddy had taught me all the places to hit when I might be attacked and I found out Daddy was right when I broke Bruce’s foot with my heel. Bruce was so surprised that No hadn’t meant yes but it did the trick and I beat it out the door and let the other legislators know exactly what he had done and he ended up on crutches and I wasn’t a bit sorry.
A couple of sorority parties also almost got me raped when I said no. Both over at UCLA. One guy invited me up to see something in his room and I stupidly fell for the old trick. I got there and he had rigged 6 electronically triggered locks. Stupid for brains told me he was going to rape me. And I told him he wasn’t going to do that. He repeated his demand and then I got mad instead of being scared (like I was supposed to be) and I remember standing very straight and ordering him to unlock the door because I was going to kill him if he didn’t. I suspect I pulled a very scary glamour and I used command voice because the guy turned absolutely white and scurried to the door like the rodent he was. He was actually mad at me for doing it. Stupid git. Another party some idiot told his friends what he had planned for me and in those days I had very good ears and I ended up spending most of the party under a shrub while I waited for my ride to be ready to go and he went looking for me. It was hide and seek for my life and I knew it.
Not one of those three guys ever gave me the chance to even say NO! They assumed I was going to go along with their demands and assumptions. Bruce learned about places besides his privates that he could be badly hurt. I would have broken his knee next if that hadn’t works since he grabbed me from behind I couldn’t go for his eyes but I would have if I needed to and could reach them. I’m very grateful to my dad for teaching me those things. And I probably would do the same if the fools had been armed.
No means No and men are not mail carts subject to their urges and not their brains even if they like to pretend that. The idea that a man is so stupid that they can’t resist you if you aren’t dressed in a burka or covering your hair is just as demeaning to men as it is to women because it says men are precisely that stupid. Men, remember to use the brain in your skull not the other one and we’ll all be a lot better off.
Nine of Arrows
The spiritual warrior dedicates their arrows of inspiration by playing the bow as aninstrument.
The inner oath helps keep one on a balanced footing by dedicating skills to a greater good.
…playing a bow (it can be used as a shamanic instrument).
…spiritual dedication and musical skill generating healing energy.
Being at one with your inner heart.