Archive | January 16, 2014

How to torment telemarketers

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-lazarus-20140114,0,1753169.column#axzz2qbqpNNlI

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I hate those fire flinging palm trees!

I’m must be really weird for a Californian, especially a native Californian whose family has been in California over a hundred years. I hate, loathe and despise palm trees. This morning made me even more sure of it.

There is a brushfire in Glendora that is cranking up right now in the middle of a Santa Ana event and the thing that is spreading the fire? The bloody ass palm trees.

Certain varieties of palm trees out here can be almost 10 stories tall and they burn like match sticks and fling the fire around when the tops burned like fiery dandelion fuzz and the embers rain down and catch everything below on fire. We have a native palm that doesn’t do that but most people don’t plant the Californa fan palm, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washingtonia_filifera, Washingtonia fillifera palms, they plant: The Mexican Fan Palm, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washingtonia_robusta. not my photo

They are the ones you see out here lining streets that seem to go up to the stratosphere. They are the ones that drop their fronds on your car and have nice long spikes that can puncture your tires if you run over them. They are the ones that get stuck in the under carriage of your car that you can drag for blocks because the damn thing is stuck there. They look nice and small when they are up high but when they land on the ground they are 9 feet long and heavy. Do not ride over them on your bicycle if you can help it.

Palm trees for those who don’t know, are not trees. They are overgrown pieces of grass. They do not have bark. They do not form rings from growth. They harbour rats in their crowns. They are big weedy pieces of grass. If you have to plant a palm tree out here at least plant the native or maybe a date palm and get some good out of it.

But worst they are ugly fire starters that need to come down. I don’t care that they are a symbol of LA. Pick something pretty like an old oak tree.