M is for Murray the Parking God

Okay, so I’m a bit behind. 

There are  different parking deities around the country but in Los Angeles the best parking god is Murray. Murray has always come through for me. I know in San Francisco they pray to Squat and Dianics tend to invoke Asphalta but Murray is my guy.

 

Murray likes to have a ritual every once in awhile and the Pallas Society used to get together for a ritual every year.

 

Murray is invoked by a tire gauge for Air in the East

A road flare (unlit, of course because we are inside) for South

A container of antifreeze for West

A chunk of asphalt that someone picked up for North

And spirit was invoked with an orange traffic cone of power

The circle was cast with jumper cables

 

Then Murray was invoked by singing his sacred song:

“Oh Great Murray

Parking paid or free

You are the god

Who watches over me”

 

Then the participants would tell grateful stories of Murray.

We asked for Murray’s continued protection.

And dismissed the elements.

 

Food shared afterwards had to be obtained by driving through a drive thru lane at a take out restaurant. No fair walking into the market. I usually drove through KFC for a bucket of original recipe but there were also big bags of tacos, drinks from the drive thru at Del Taco for a macho sized ice tea, and one smart aleck brought antiacid from the drive thru Wahlgreen’s pharmacy.

 

Murray’s wife is Zelda who is the goddess of shopping and their daughter is Tiffany goddess of teens in shopping malls.

 

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