If you vote for Romney, you are not my friend because secretly or not so secretly you think I have no civil rights and further that I don’t deserve them for just being who I am. Romney coming out this week and saying gay people didn’t have the right to visit their partners in the hospital was the last straw for me and I can no longer ignore his ignorance and his evil and yes it is evil to be that bigoted and self righteous especially from a man whose family fled to Mexico to avoid prosecution for polygamy with his 12 wives.
So let me tell you a few stories.
When I had my appendix out in 1986 they would not allow my partner in as my partner. She had to lie. Why should she have had to lie?
When Cam had his first seizure with brain cancer in the ‘80s his long term partner at the time was there and they called my mother for permission to treat. Mom said no and hung up. If they hadn’t decided to let L say yes what would my brother have done? I don’t think he knew my phone by heart and I know L didn’t. What would they have done? Let him die?
An ex of mine had a partner who was an EMT and was killed in an ambulance crash. They not only would not allow B to see her partner when she was dying but because she had no legal standing even though they had bought a house together she lost everything. Her parents came in and took everything they owned and the house because it was in the partner’s name. B was left with nothing but memories and no place to live. Her parents took all the pictures, all her clothes, all their books, everything that had a memory and threw B out of the house they had together. How is that fair?
When I was in a car accident in 1996 my friends saw my overturned car smashed on the sidewalk and had went crying to the hospital. They also had to lie and say they were my sisters. Thank heavens my mother actually accepted them and called them to the nurse “her girls”. My sisters are a very diverse bunch.
When I went into Good Sam for an emergency hysterectomy I went with 2 friends and gave explicit permission at my admission that they were the only ones who could make a decision if something went wrong. I had to specifically prohibit my mother from visiting or having anything to do with me in the hospital because she objected to the surgery. My doctor said afterwards that if I hadn’t had the surgery I would have been dead in 2 weeks because my bladder would have gone necrotic. If I hadn’t been allowed to do that and my mother had been able to stop the surgery I would not be here.
When Cam was dying Stanford ER let Cam’s partner Scott be with him and they allowed he and Cam to make the decision to let Cam die. Cam died a truly horrible and gruesome death but he didn’t die alone. He had his partner with him every bit of the way. What if someone like Romney had made that impossible? Cam would have seized to death alone. He died in horrible pain but Scott was there. My sister and I were supposed to fly up the next day but it was too late.
So if you are in favour of letting people die without their loved ones next to them, you are no friend of mine. I’ll miss you but if you would have let Cam die alone get away from me.