Archive | April 5, 2012

More on my rant

I struck a nerve with my posting on “fluffy bunnies”. Supposedly if you say you are old enough to know something then you don’t which strikes me rather like the people who say IMHO and then aren’t humble a bit. I used the age 30 for good reason. Anyone who is over 30 and to their 40s and 50s will know why. You can have all sorts of things happen to you before you are 30 that are both terrible and wonderful but there is something weird that happens to you around 30. Pagans call it your Saturn return and you either survive it and thrive or you don’t. 30 is the real turning point into adulthood.

Add to that the people in the babyboom era who came out and you had even more depth to it because I saw just about every male gay friend I had die of AIDS in the 80’s, It was why I became on-call clergy at the AIDS Service Center where I lived. It’s why I walked the AIDS Posada and the AIDS walk. It’s why I took the phone call the night my little brother called and said he was all alone. That the last one of his friends he came out with had died of AIDS. He ended up dying of brain cancer instead and surviving them all.

I know bad things can happen to people before their Saturn return. They certainly happened to me. I was born blind in one eye and only partially sighted out of my other in an age where all the other blind kids I knew went to a special school and were hidden away. I was born when there was the scourge of German Measles/Rubella and there still kids who had had polio. Most kids now don’t see the amount of handicapped kids that we did. There were more deaf kids, blind kids, kids with CP or CF. You don’t see that so much anymore. I knew what it was like to be beaten up because I wasn’t “normal”. Sometimes every day for weeks and the teachers knew and didn’t stop it. I knew about bullying starting in the first grade.

Death was a part of my life from a very young age. I attended my first funeral when I was 5 for my great grandmother. And almost every year after that someone in my extended family of great aunts and uncles someone would die. That doesn’t even cover the national mourning that the country plunged into and changed forever after Kennedy was shot.

I still remember when a child I used to help babysit at church died. Terry wasn’t even a year old when he died and to make it worse I don’t think they ever diagnosed what was wrong with him. He never got to sit up by himself but he could laugh and smile even if because he was permanently trached he would never speak. Our main job while his parents were at choir rehearsal without parents was to make sure no mucus clogged his trach. I think we were 14 or 15? And yet his funeral was filled with balloons and joy because Terry was finally free.

I know about awful being abused can be. I know it firsthand but I don’t need to talk about it. I just need to know I survived it. What you go through does make you stronger but so does surviving to get older.

You start a second Saturn return at around 56-59. One of my friends didn’t make it through. She decided that she’d never make the goals she set for herself because she was almost 60 and got depressed and let her diabetes get out of control and had a gall bladder attack that killed her. Death by defaulting on her choices. I loved H but I wish she had reached out to those who loved her. She might have made it through and she was one of the strongest people in the coven I started with back a life time ago in the 80’s. And she was living with 3 other people who would have done anything for her if she had asked.

So I wasn’t flaunting how much I allegedly know by being a old crone or playing the age card. I was stating simple fact. You have to get to the other side of 30 to really know what kind of person you are going to grow up to be and you can protest about it as much as you want but call me when you’re 35 and tell me if I was right.

And I repeat no matter how much you are judging someone to be a “Fluffy bunny” someone may be judging you to be the same.

More on Saturn returns:

A rant in defense of the “fluffy bunnies” of pagandom! Don’t read if you don’t want a kick in the butt.

I’m getting really tired of people using the term “fluffy bunny” to define pagans, the pagan speaking (or writing) doesn’t perceive as serious enough. This term is used almost exclusively by people under 30 years of age and I’ve seen several blogs this week alone use it. As someone who has been in the pagan community for almost 30 years and at 2 years shy of 60 and is quite old enough to be your mother or even some of the younger ones, their grandmother, I have one thing to say, “KNOCK IT OFF!”

Get a flaming sense of humour some of you and lose the insecurity that is causing you to bash others to prove how superior you are. You are tiring and a bit lame. Am I sounding harsh? Good, some of you need a kick in the pants or a good swift swat to your keester. What makes you so superior? You took a Wicca 101 class and decided the Rede isn’t for real witches or you so you can be rude? Talk to me in 10 years when you done a lot more ritual, when life has knocked you down a few times and you’ve struggled to get up. Some of those you deem “Fluffy bunnies” will be the ones that get back up and go on and you might not be. Why because some of those “Fluffy bunnies” will have a positive attitude. The ones that don’t, will fade away anyway.

At under 30, and especially those of you still in college or university, you have not lived. (And I’m sure you’r e sure you have) You haven’t had children, nursed your parents through their final days. You haven’t divorced a spouse or lost a child. You haven’t lost jobs you thought would provide for your retirement. You don’t have the diseases of middle age like the beginnings of arthritis and learned that life can be painful and learned that some of those “fluffy bunnies” are the ones who will love you no matter how negative you are feeling. They will be the ones who rescue you when you can’t see another day. Why? Because the fluffy bunnies are the empaths. The compassionate ones. The ones who have learned that in her own way following Kwan Yin and Brighid are every bit as scary in their challenges as a psychopomp like Hekate. You should know I’m ordained to all of the above and have learned those lessons the hard way. Death magic might seem fun and powerful but wait until you have sat with an actual dying person and do it again and again. Guess what? Hekate is a goddess of compassion too. Wait until you have seen her over a loved one’s body. It isn’t the same at all.

When you bash a “fluffy bunny” you are just making yourself look bad. It makes you look uncompassionate. It makes you look like an egotistical fool.

We need the people you call “fluffy bunnies” because we desperately need the kind people of the world. Change is made in the world by love. Love for your fellow beings and by learning you aren’t the only one in the world. It’s by people who don’t call names and just do, by being loving and positive. It’s isn’t made by people who call names and bully others because they don’t meet your standards of being a scary witch.

Change is made by those fluffy bunny: gardeners, herbalists, healers, poets, raisers of children who tell bedtime stories to the next generation. Change is made by grown people who still view the world with wonder and love and that there is good in all beings. Change isn’t made by the disrespectful and the mean.

I’m sure I just pissed a bunch of people off, by implying that because they are young, they don’t know about life or pain or other realities, well, deal with you don’t. When I was your age I would have been pissed off too. But guess what? Some day you might acknowledge I was right. In the meantime, stop being brats and rude.

Poetry month – Tree at my window

Tree at my Window
by: Robert Frost
Tree at my window, window tree,
My sash is lowered when night comes on;
But let there never be curtain drawn
Between you and me.

Vague dream-head lifted out of the ground,
And thing next most diffuse to cloud,
Not all your light tongues talking aloud
Could be profound.

But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,
And if you have seen me when I slept,
You have seen me when I was taken and swept
And all but lost.

That day she put our heads together,
Fate had her imagination about her,
Your head so much concerned with outer,
Mine with inner, weather