Dealing with Empaths – Pagan Blog Post

Dealing with Empaths

Not much has been written on relations or etiquette between empaths and non-empaths and how they should treat each other so here are some basic guidelines:

What is an empath? An empath is a person who perceives the world through what they feel from other people, animals, even things and places at times. They do not read minds, although at times it may seem like it. They can, however, tell with reasonable accuracy what you are feeling, whether you are telling the truth, etc.

How do you know if you’re an empath? Have you ever felt like you were walking around with your skin peeled off? Have you ever walked into a room in a really good mood and instantaneously become depressed? (The reverse of this just means you are an extrovert.) Do you get uncomfortable in crowds as in an itch you can’t scratch? Did you develop the need to heal people not of an altruistic motive but simply so you could shut other people’s pain off? Guess what, you are blessed? – cursed? – with this wonderful psychic gift which is sometime about as useful as blowing lightbulbs is to a telekinetic.

If you are an empath:

1. Learn about boundaries and how to build barriers. It’s very important to know how much outside stimulus you can tolerate and when to make yourself scarce.

2. Learn to differentiate between you and everybody else. Believe it or not it’s not all about you.

3. Learn to meditate and ground yourself. This is the best and the first line of defense.

4. Find an understanding therapist, preferably a witch. In other words, get some control. We all need someone to talk to at some point in our lives. Even therapists see therapists.

5. Also learn to limit your input. You probably shouldn’t watch disasters as they unfold on TV. Things like September 11 maybe overwhelming and induce tears or fears months or years after the events. And once you have seen it, it really serves no purpose to keep watching it over and over.

6. Remember, be careful whom you decide to sleep with–sort of safe sex for your mind. Everyone you have sex with you make a connection with. Do you really want to carry this person around in your head the rest of your life?

What do you need to know if you aren’t an empath but have someone in your life who is?

1. Never, never touch an empath unless the empath invites you to touch them. If you are not grounded and centered in yourself, you may cause the empath physical or mental or emotional pain.

2. Be aware of personal space issues, especially if the empath has been working. An empath tends to need a greater amount of personal space than the average person. Miss Kat personally tells people when in this mode, “Don’t touch.” However, some people don’t choose to believe it and sometimes are shocked when the next thing that happens is that she gets seriously annoyed, and an annoyed Kat is not a pretty sight. She will, fold, spindle and mutilate when pushed.

3. However, the exception to the above rule is that another empath who is working can touch. Don’t ask me why ‘cause I don’t know.

4. Be aware that when an empath says she has to be alone, she really means it. They may need to separate what they are feeling internally from what they are picking up externally.

Any more questions? Believe it or not, the best information on this particular gift is found in Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Darkover novels.

One last note that may or may not be covered by the Rede, “An it harm none,” since it’s not really controllable. Being an empath has one side effect that is rather novel– piss me off and you’ll have a headache and Miss Kat won’t. This is just something to remember.

6 thoughts on “Dealing with Empaths – Pagan Blog Post

  1. Great post! At times I have wondered if I am an empath, and to be honest I’ve sometimes WANTED to be an empath, but the more I think about it the more I realize that I’m probably not. However, I may pick up on what others think and feel, but I think it’s more of a telepathic ability than an empathic one. And telepathic abilities combined with great imagination easily gives you an effect pretty close to a true empathic experience…


  2. Yes, yes, yes!!! I can’t thank you enough for putting some of my rules into words. I have this ability, my mom has this ability and a couple of my cousins have this ability. We have large personal space boundaries, and we can’t stand being touched except by the people we know well and trust. As a kid, some folks though I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum, but I’ve since overcome most of the issues that come with empathy. I learned how to shield the hard way. I hope more folks will read this and realize that we’re not being rude when we pull away from you, it’s just how we have to be.


    • This was all learned the hard way. My own father held a grudge against because when I was 2 I would frantically try to get away from being held because he was always angry. When I was little I just didn’t understand why it hurt.


    • Really anyone will work. Marion was versed in psychic gifts when she was writing them. Her whole household was pagan as were most of her friends.


Comments are closed.