Archive | May 2011

Missing genes

I was definitely born without some basic girl genes, specifically the mirror gene and the need to go to bathroom in a roving band of women.

I just went into the bathroom and there was a woman staring intensely at herself in the mirror mostly at her ass. I went in and did what I needed to do and when I was washing my hands she came out of her stall and then proceeded to do another thorough inspection of everything in the mirror. What exactly did she think happened in those few minutes? I’m happy to look down and not be trailing toilet paper off my shoe.

I don’t understand the whole mirror staring thing. I consult the mirror to make sure nothing untoward has happened in the night to my face, comb my hair and make sure I haven’t suddenly grown some menopausal beard hairs during the night but I have no desire to spend long minutes consulting my ass in my jeans. Nothing much to see there anyway, I was born without the junk in the trunk gene too.

I don’t have the gene that compels ordinarily self-sufficient women to go to the rest room in a pod. I do not wish most of the time to have a great conversation in the rest room. I have no desire to share bodily function noises with my friends.

I had a Rec professor at CSUN that used to make fun of the women that went in pods when we were on outings or trips and he would turn to me, usually the lone woman left and ask what was wrong with me. I always told him I had no need to go so why should I and that I was missing that gene and he would laugh. I really had no need to go hang out near a port a potty or bif in the woods. Camp was different. It might be the only time you could talk all day or they were the ones you borrowed the flashlight from. I used to watch it happen at camp when you had to go with a buddy but some women take it to the extreme and go in groups of 40 or more, I swear.

The other bathroom habit I can not fathom and one that gets me hot under the collar when I do need to go, is women who are teeny tiny people and insist on using the handicapped stall when there is nothing wrong with them and their feet don’t reach the floor. Why are you using the seat that is at least 2 inches higher than the normal can when you are not handicapped??? If I haven’t waited to the last minute and am not desperate, I will wait at the door for them to leave and make them scurry away but there they are the next time? Why???!!!

OMG I have to call on a doctor whose first name is Phuc. This will not be phun!

Dumb dumb dumb and discrimantory

This is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. They can’t put any women in the newspaper because it might be sexually suggestive? They must have a really low opinion of men’s ability to control themselves to feel that way about a photo especially that one which is about the least sexually suggestive picture I’ve ever seen.

I thought there was a little thing in the 10 commandments about not bearing false witness? Do the 10 commandments outrank the smaller prohibitions about their discrimination against women? One would think so. Because they not only changed an iconic view of history being made but disobeyed the noting on the photo itself that it wasn’t to be altered in any way.

Obviously women are waaaay more scary that violating US law or the 10 commandments. Some fully dressed women intent on doing their job might all of sudden in a moment of national history and stress decide she has to jump some man’s bones because she can’t control herself and do her job. I really don’t think most Jewish men are that stupid and with out impulse control but Orthodox Jewish men must be different.


You Are Good

You have an ethical code that you live by. You think it’s important to be a good person.
You are idealistic, and you don’t really care if your ideals are unrealistic.

You are a complex and deep person. There are many layers to who you are.
You seek meaning and purpose in every part of your life. An empty life terrifies you.

Growing up with a visible disability

 I’ve been watching the reaction to Lady Louise Windsor’s eyes since the wedding with great interest because it’s the same eye problem I grew up with and I’ve been seeing the same reaction from people to her that I grew up hearing.

 I think it’s major reason I still don’t like to meet new people. It’s the first thing a child born with a visible peculiarity becomes aware of. I call it a peculiarity because as a child you don’t notice that you are different because it’s what you’re used to everyday. What you notice is how people react to the visible difference and I’m afraid you learn early on there are a lot of shitheads in the world.

 I’ve seen the “Oh, how terrible, what a brave child!” or “poor child” reaction which I can tell you just makes you internally roll your eyes at stupid grown-ups. You see no reason, that you’re a “poor child’. You are just fine, thank you very much. And you know you aren’t being brave either, what is – is, period. This is how you see the world and most of the time you don’t know any different. I know I used to love messing with these, usually elderly* seeming ladies. It’s almost never a man.

 *When you’re small everyone is an old lady.

 My mom tried to discourage this as long as she could by putting me in a wide variety of rather fetching baby bonnets that had large bills. That only worked for as long as I would wear a hat. I still love to wear hats but I can rarely keep them on my head for long.

 You see the mean reaction where someone makes a remark, then, out loud, now, online but it used to be what they thought was out of ear shot and it almost never was. I had very good ears. Someone would make a remark about the cross-eyed kid or the child with the squint. One I could never figure out because I wasn’t squinting. And then say something really mean. Or the adult that pulls their kid away because disabilities can be catching.

 Mom and Dad would try and steer me away from people that did this, most often at church but other places like stores too or I would be told to ignore them because they were ignorant people. This also doesn’t really work because you have heard it and you are mentally making a list of people like that for future reference.

 You get the ‘invisible’ reaction. The “if I  pretend not to notice you then you don’t exist and I don’t have to deal with how you’re making me feel uncomfortable.” This is wildly amusing to a kid with any kind of impish impulse because of course, you have to make them notice you. And believe me, kids can sense this one a mile off. And it’s different from someone who ignores that you have something different about you because people who do that aren’t ignoring you.

 Then there are the ones you feel are idiots who ask you which eye you are looking at them with. Uh Duh, the one that is boring a hole in you for asking because the other one is probably looking at my nose.

 And then there are the best group who it just doesn’t matter to at all. These are people who are comfortable in their own skins usually so they let other people be comfortable too.

 I loved when I was working with kids because they ask you point blank, what’s wrong with your eye and then after you explain never pay attention to it again.

 I saw some articles online that say Lady Louise’s parents, Prince Edward and Sophie, Countess of Wessex her hiding her away out of the public eye and I doubt they were really hiding her away. They’re probably protecting her from dealing with people’s ignorance and potential unkindness. She’ll learn that soon enough from her schoolmates.

 I imagine she is going through the usual treatments although I haven’t seen her in glasses in any pictures. I know I went through eye exercises, pirate patches, and single lens glasses and then bifocals when I was four because strabismus can cause extreme farsightedness. They give you glasses to make you less farsighted which can be annoying if you like seeing. And finally surgery which may or may not work. My surgery worked because I now see out of that eye but cosmetically it when I hit puberty the strabismus came back. I now see out of only one eye at a time with the other contributing light and colour information but not much else. One eye is now nearsighted and the other is farsighted. So one works when I wear my glasses and the other when I don’t.

 The eye exercises were really boring. The first lady I had teach them didn’t know I could read so I have to admit I messed with her because I was bored and I admit I am an imp when bored. Maybe not an imp of Satan as Mom would call me but a mischief maker nonetheless and besides I always felt that grown-ups that treat you as if you’re stupid deserve what ever they get.

 The pirate patch was annoying because they would put it over my comparatively better eye and I would be totally blind. I used to move it at school, because I was being beaten up and shunned enough without running into the furniture too. I had surgery in second grade when I was seven as one of the first experimental ones. I’m glad they did it and I would love to know how the other girl who had surgery at the same times came out but I probably never will.

 Anyway, I hope the media leave Lady Louise alone. She’s fine just as she is and I’m glad she got to be part of the wedding.

Osama Bin Ladin,0,7229481.story

I guess even the Dalai Lama is in favour of offing Osama Bin Ladin and don’t get me wrong he was a man who did great evil in the world. I have enormous mixed feelings about shooting someone who was un-armed in his bedroom with his wife. The ideal thing would have been for him to be tried in a world court for not just master minding 9/11 but for killing thousands of Muslims who had the misfortune to disagree with his brand of Islam but that was never ever going to happen.

And I hesitate to even write about it knowing I’m going to get jumped on by some but I don’t believe summarily executing someone is necessarily the right thing to do and it makes me very uncomfortable to rejoice in any one person’s death. Going on and jumping around and holding an American flag because he is dead is wrong. He wasn’t a cartoon character. He wasn’t the boogie man. He was a human being and seeing supposed Christians doing it when there own spiritual writings say ‘vengeance is mine saith the Lord’ makes me itch.

And very few of those jumping around did anything to get rid of the man. I can understand service people doing it, they have actually been in harm’s way although even that had more to do with George Bush than Osama Ben Ladin and I can even understand New Yorkers celebrating but since LA has never been the recipient of a terrorist attack from him I don’t think any here should be jumping around flag waving. It isn’t the end of any war and it may have the effect of attacking a hydra than stopping anything because somewhere out there is another charismatic religious fanatic waiting for their turn.

As a member of a minority religion it shows how easily someone the government disagrees with can be taken out. What if someday they decide there is no barrier between church and state? The Republicans and the Supreme Court seem to be headed that way. And there is now a whole movement that believes it’s okay to pray for the death of pagans some of them are a whole lot like Sarah Palin have actually held an office. These people are just as scary to me as Ben Ladin since among other things they think witch burning is a valid form of entertainment. They also believe that anyone that disagrees with them is a candidate for exorcism. EEK! I think our next brand of terrorism may come from them. So while I think he was a greatly evil person I have a real problem with how he died.