I never really felt poor until the laptop died last week. Somehow this is the cut that really hurts. Now when I can’t pay the cable bill going to the library won’t be an option. And even though I was using a back up harddrive it wasn’t getting backed up so I lost all the pictures I’ve taken this year and all the stories I’ve written since Dec. I lost the books I was editing and I lost the final covers of BunniHoTep and Miss Kat’s and I lost the final edited content for BunniHoTep . It’s got all my research for stories, saved rituals, random story ideas, my income tax info for this year and a hoard of things I’m sure I won’t remember until I need them. It had my life on it. I wish now I had checked to see that it was really backing things up but for some reason it stopped at the beginning of files labeled MA which means all My Video and My pictures etc. My poor little faithful Fujitsu.

Per the Notebook shop it would cost $550 to replace the motherboard where the graphic card resides at the moment that is quite unattainable especially since I need 2 new tires much worse. And there are probably other things wrong too because the USB ports were evidently cranky too. I can’t even get the hard drive recovered until I get a job.

So I’m grieving a good friend and it really hurts. I never would have thought losing an inanimate object would hurt so much but it’s been my window on the world especially in between temp jobs the last few years. It made me feel part of the world. I got my news that way. It was my access to creativity and new friends. It added colour and dimension to my life in a way I never imagined it would when I bought it.

My old PC is slow awkward and hasn’t got much memory, it does email and that’s about it. This morning it wouldn’t access the net at all for some reason. And for some reason sitting at a PC seems like work and just writing where ever I was, was play.

So I’m as I said grieving an old and faithful friend.