Archive | June 21, 2006

I was reminded today by my mom’s hospice nurse that anger is a part of grief. I hate being angry, and it seems like I have been for a few weeks now. But I guess I just have to go through this to get to the other side.

My mom is never going to be a good mom. That just wasn’t what was dealt in the cards this lifetime. So it’s time to let her go and stop trying to either re-make her in my mind or change her because that will never ever happen and just accept it. Easier said than done.

Save Mother Earth!

In an effort to do something for the planet and is ideal for the lazy I am a member of

I’m urging you should you feel motivated this solstice and don’t do something already, to join. It’s free and it’s a great place to send e-cards. (They always have pagan ones), sign petitions, meet people, check the latest news on the planet and by clicking make sponsored donations to save species, prevent violence etc.

And if you join and add me or others as friends, all the friends get double or more credits toward donations. If you add me, do it with

Happy Solstice again!

A calm and peaceful mantra

I am in a calm and peaceful place.
I am in a calm and peaceful place.
I am in a calm and peaceful place.
I am in a calm and peaceful place.
I am in a calm and peaceful place.
I am in a calm and peaceful place.
I will not fold, spindle, and mutilate idiots.
I will not turn them into toads for that would be redundant. Maybe frogs?
I will suppress the urge to bite them in the butt for that would probably taste bad.
I will try to practice non-violance at least outwardly. No one has to know I am tearing them into itty, bitty pieces mentally.
I will be outwardly serene while wondering exactly how much force it would take to break someone’e kneecaps.
I will outwardly project that their assumptions that I look like a sweet, baby-faced, harmless, middle-aged woman are correct not the bad-tempered, tattooed, lesbian witch that wants to shred them.
I will smile at them like a crocodile smiles at them.

Warning! having a good grump

I’m grumpy with a good book I could be reading. This is a very bad combination. Since I finally got the third book I started the first book in Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series and I’m loving it so far. I’m grumpy because I had a run in with the Social Worker from the Hospice who is a horse’s behind, grade AAA.

He called for the first time yesterday like he was Mighty Mouse come to save the day. Not a good way to start with me.

1. He was surprised I was at work!!! Well, let’s see it’s 2:00 clock in the afternoon, where the hell else would I be?

2. Wanted to meet with me immediately. Uh no!

3. Wanted to know why we weren’t constantly visiting mom. Well, currently she thinks we’re turtles, and well she wasn’t the nicest person when she was competent and lost the right to constant attendance when she bailed on Cam and Dad and Grandpa. You reap what you sow.

4. Gave me attitude about where mom will be buried. Why is is any of his frelling business what cemetery she’s at? So, it’s in an African- American neighborhood, I don’t care and mom sure as hell won’t care and it’s where my family has always been buried! How rude. To any one still listening, Put me in a peanut butter jar and spread my ashes under a tree at my old camp and don’t deal idiots like this.

5. I called the Hospice people and complained about him. He is the only one that hasn’t been very nice.