Archive | June 20, 2006

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their
35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little
restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”

“Oh, I want to travel around the world with my
darling husband” said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Then it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a
moment and said: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish… So the fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story:
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember
fairies are female.

Okay, I woke up with a headache and had weird dreams all night about waiting in line at a WPA era public bathroom and finally getting into a stall and the plumbing was weird. It wasn’t a urinal, toilet or bidet but some strange hybrid I couldn’t figure out how to put the ass gasket on.

So, I woke up a bit angry then realized most of my anger has to do with my parent’s church. They have belonged to that church for over 60 years but not once that I know of has the minister visited my mom. When I was a kid there were ministers who did nothing but visit and counsel the sick.

Last week I wrote an update on my mom to a list of people. One, who is a church member forwarded to the church and the deacon’s office specifically. The idiot from the office hit reply to all and said she didn’t know the person they were refering to and I thought that was very rude and stupid and I’m still furious. My mom was a Deacon, was in charge of a lot of Deacon’s committees. She was in choir for over 45 years, was the Executive Secretary for the Minister of Music. Was head of the Women’s Association more than once. She and my dad were in adult Sunday School Groups. MY dad was head Usher and was an Elder. AND THEY DON’T KNOW WHO MY MOM IS AND CAN’T APPARENTLY BE BOTHERED. And they wonder why the 3 of us kids left church. Not to mention the people who dropped my parents as friends when they found out Cam and I were gay and therefore weren’t raised properly. And some of them had Cam and I in their Sunday School classes and knew us very well.

My sister and I are trying to figure out if we can get away with just a graveside funeral and not get haunted since my mom had dreams of being a star at her funeral at church, where they, I guess no longer remember her. She only stopped attending a year ago last October. They have very short memories but after the horror of my dad’s funeral about what I’d expect.