Archive | April 2006

I guess I should say would I did do. I got out and pumped my gas ignoring her honking. Why the guy decided he wanted to yell at me I have no idea. I did tell him to mind his own business but he didn’t go away, he just kept yelling at me. So I told them she didn’t have my respect just by virtue of being old. She lost it when she honked at me. At which point he cursed me and I got in the car and left shaking my head. How hard was it to go in the correct direction and pull up behind me?

She’s probably one of those people that don’t read signs and talk on their cell phones at the pump exposing everyone to the hazard of blowing up. Don’t those people watch Mythbusters. Oops, digression.

I guess I’m too much of a J in my INTJ. I think people should follow the rules. It was the principle of the thing. Why should I move just because she was older and didn’t follow the rules.

People may wonder why I’m nuts about Descanso but is a place of many fond memories and one really bad one. I took classes there when I was 6-8 in summer. I hunted tadpoles there. I didn’t know Mom didn’t like them until a few years ago. She knew I loved catching them and watching them grow and letting them loose in the garden so she went along with it. Even bought the tiny aquarium bowl for me at WoolWorth’s.

Watched the turtles in the lake. Fed the ducks and the koi when you still could do that. Walking under the huge old oaks, redwoods and the camelias that are often 25 ft high or larger is like being tiny in a giant forest. One can see deer, hawks, lizards, owls and squirrels. And I know a mountain lion used to go through there twice a year.

Mom took us several times a year. And when I moved out on my own and needed solace it is where I went. I took 2 of the 3 pictures that won my Kodak student photo awards there in college. I walked with my grandma and grandpa. When they used to have a night garden show with lighted fountains Mom and Dad took us and it was fairy land to me. My one bad memory? Being slave labour when they needed to divide their enormous bearded iris bed in the middle of summer. I still don’t really like Bearded Iris and of course they are Ali’s favourite.

So Descanso Gardens is a very special magickal place for me.

A Pagan in Hell

A Pagan In Hell

A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates.

The Pagan asks, “Where am I?”

Peter says, “You’re at the gates of heaven.”

The Pagan says, “But I don’t believe in heaven.”

Peter frowns at him. “You’re one of those Pagans, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I believe I’m in the wrong place; I’m supposed to go to Summerland.”

Peter says, “Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it’s temporarily closed for remodeling.”

“What should I do now?”

Peter says, “Well, since we don’t allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left.”

The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.

He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. “Hello, I’m Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?”

“Yes, I am. What’s going to happen now?”

Satan says, “Well, the fishing’s pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There’s a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill.”

Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.

The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, “And what was THAT ???”

Satan rolls his eyes. “Oh, just ignore them. They’re Christians; they wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Great Horned Owl mama
Great Horned Owl mama
Dogwoods and azaleas Dogwood
Dogwoods and azaleas Dogwood
rare Alisonia cameraensia  
rare Alisonia cameraensia  

We made it to the garden this am after dropping our e-waste at the dropoff and had a great time at the Gardens. We were up early because I woke up Alison to view the WWF fight on my balcony which had been going on since before 6am. I didn’t wake her til after 7. I know better than that. WWF in this case stands for Wildlife Wrestling Federation. Our infant squirrels have taken up wrestling and when one catches the other she holds her down until she cries whatever the squirrel version of uncle is and then the match starts all over again. I kept getting woken up by one throwing the other into the window with a big thump. then they came back about 8 and one was bowing and then standing in front of the squirrel statue on her hind legs with her arms stretched out. She sure looks like she is worshipping at the squirrrel goddess. 

The Garden was beautiful with tons of tulips and the dogwoods, camelias and azaleas. We had to go see the Lilacs and the lake with the turtles, koi and ducks. No little ones this time but we did see a mother owl on her nest feeding her babies. I was so entranced I never noticed that it was Hector Elizando who pointed them out to us. Alison was the one who had to tell me. Okay show me an owl or anything interesting in nature and I get very single minded. Who cares if the person is famous there’s an OWL! LOL! Almost as bad as crawling around in the shrubberies to see something. 

Happy Earth Weekend!

Ritual aversion

I’m having a problem with the idea of ritual. When I go I feel trapped now. I feel like I need to escape. I feel like my options have been taken away. I know this is in my head but nevertheless it is there. I should ( goddess, I hate that word) go to the magdalene beltane ritual this afternoon. But every single part of me is yelling “no” you’ll be stuck. Mind you I would be surrounded by people who genuinely like me and even love me but it doesn’t matter, I feel trapped. And I have no clue how long this feeling will last or if it will ever go away. It’s like having ritual ADHD.

I feel the need to be free, whatever that means, because I’m not sure what free means anymore. It may even be why I’m heavily attached to my camera right now. I stopped taking pictures because I felt divorced from what was happening around me. Now it gives me space to observe when in a group. On the plus side it has given me a way to frame the beauty I see around me.

Or it could be that Cam’s death has forced me into a more Druidic bent at the moment and not a Wiccan space. More Nature less Circle. Still seeking what’s left of my creativity that has abandoned me temporarily since nature is almost always my awen, muse and root of inspiration.