Archive | April 28, 2006

home again, home again jiggedy jig

I’m home from the boobie mangle. OWWWWWW! I’m glad I have something to put in it but OOWWWWW! I have cystic breasts and it feels like it’s all going to bust. Why, oh why, do they have a target on the outside of the machine? I know it’s where they orient the poor dear girls but it is rather distressing to see a target. How about a really silly happy face?

I don’t have yard long gazongas now but it feels as if I should. Like I could walk on my knuckles and they would swing back and forth in some sort of martial timing.

I did discover one thing, the tech doing it said that most women are more tender in the left breast than the right and that no one knows why. They think it’s because it’s closer to the heart. Why the hell don’t they study this? If they can do a lot seemingly silly research why can’t they find out why it hurts more to mash the left than the right. This is important research people!

People at work were appalled yesterday that I wouldn’t say breasts, I said tits. Well sorry folks, all mammals have teats/tits and that is the proper biological term for all mammal’s milk dispensors but they also don’t like it when I say I’ve been spayed. I also pointed out that a whole mountain range is named Big Tits and they should just deal with it. What the heck did they think the Grand Tetons were?

I was going to treat myself with a trip to the Huntington after but they didn’t open til noon and I wasn’t going to sit in the parking lot for 2 hours even with a good book. Plus Alison is home sick with vertigo and I needed to stop at Rite-Aid to get more Benedryl.