Archive | April 4, 2006

I can’t get away from the Presbyterians

Types of Undergarments

A man walked into the ladies’ department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“Type?” inquired the man. “There is more than one type?”

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras,” she replied.Confused, the man asked what the types were. The saleslady replied, “The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”

Still confused, the man asked, “What is the difference between them?”

The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple… the Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.”

Stolen from bansagart

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a
> new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease.
> The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk
> behavior. The disease is Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced
> “gonna re-elect him.” Many victims contracted it in 2004,
> after having been screwed for the past four years.
> Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
> antisocial personality disorders, delusions of grandeur
> with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance,
> inability to incorporate new information, pronounced
> xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility
> for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
> uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and
> history, categorical all-or-nothing behavior.
> Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this
> destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a
> bush found in Texas.

I’m getting really testy about all the silly emails on the 1:23AM 4/5/06 thing either it says IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN or IT WON’t HAPPEN FOR A THOUSAND YEARS! Bull cruddy, It will happen again in 2106 and every hundred years just like it always has. Be Logical! People! It’s not as if it was a comet or some great astronomical occurence it is a man-made date that only exists in the Gregorian calendar, GEEZ!

Read at your risk – it’s grumpy

This morning I woke up with one of the silly made-up folk songs from ” A Mighty Wind” playing incessantly in my head. I hate when songs get stuck.

It’s raining. Again. I know it’s not like SF or Hawaii but I hate driving in it. The Jeep was a lot higher in the rain than the Cruiser and the tires are smaller so going thru water is a little more exciting. Our street floods very easily and that is more drama than I need first thing in the AM. Also Ventura was just starting to flood so things get scary driving. Faire starts this weekend and it’s supposed to rain, this ought to be fun, not.

My doctor visit was a bit annoying. He promised next time I got the stupid cyst back he’d call the general surgeon in and they would remove it but nooooo I get to be on antibiotics instead again. Yuck! The damn fool thing is Painfull. And he is insisting my back is in spasm which it is but not why he thinks. I know I felt something move and I have been getting stabbed in the spine while breathing ever since. Something bigger went there this time. But I know doctors never believe you can get hurt in the thoracic part of the spine. Yeah right. OWWWWWW! Especially since that is the part of my spine that seems to be getting with the fusion program now since the lumbar fused itself a long time ago. For an herbalist I take too damn many medications which herbs would interfere with.

Rassafrassarassafrassa mumble, mumble, grump grump grump in pain…grump.

Read at your risk – it’s grumpy

This morning I woke up with one of the silly made-up folk songs from ” A Mighty Wind” playing incessantly in my head. I hate when songs get stuck.

It’s raining. Again. I know it’s not like SF or Hawaii but I hate driving in it. The Jeep was a lot higher in the rain than the Cruiser and the tires are smaller so going thru water is a little more exciting. Our street floods very easily and that is more drama than I need first thing in the AM. Also Ventura was just starting to flood so things get scary driving. Faire starts this weekend and it’s supposed to rain, this ought to be fun, not.

My doctor visit was a bit annoying. He promised next time I got the stupid cyst back he’d call the general surgeon in and they would remove it but nooooo I get to be on antibiotics instead again. Yuck! The damn fool thing is Painfull. And he is insisting my back is in spasm which it is but not why he thinks. I know I felt something move and I have been getting stabbed in the spine while breathing ever since. Something bigger went there this time. But I know doctors never believe you can get hurt in the thoracic part of the spine. Yeah right. OWWWWWW! Especially since that is the part of my spine that seems to be getting with the fusion program now since the lumbar fused itself a long time ago. For an herbalist I take too damn many medications which herbs would interfere with.

Rassafrassarassafrassa mumble, mumble, grump grump grump in pain…grump.