Archive | April 2, 2006

Carytown asked:

How has the loss of Cam changed your life in terms of your beliefs? I know the question is awkward, I’m not sure how to ask it. Specifically I guess I’m asking how it has changed your view of the world from a witch’s point of view.

I don’t think it has changed my spiritual reality or how I view the Goddess but it has changed my emotional reality drastically at least for a while. It’s why it’s very hard to write about BunniHotep right now. As well as being a finder of lost precious objects she is the Goddess of small joys and it has been very hard for me to take pleasure in those small joys since Cam died.

It changed how I view my place in the universe. Somehow I always view people suspended in a web of their own making of love and connections to other people. Cam was one of my strongest pieces of web and now that anchor is gone. And so my place in the universe is a little less secure. Does that make any sense?

Your siblings in very many ways help you define yourself and who you are. They are your first friend, your first enemy, your first ally against the world. And Cam was only 18 months behind me. He was why I became a protector of people I thought needed it because he needed it. He was my first equal in battle. I don’t know what I taught him but I know what he taught me.

I already know he’ll be back in time, in another life. I know he will join the other people from our family who show up from time to time here. It’s what our family always has done. That hasn’t changed. And I know he is safe and without pain where ever he has chosen to be. .