The French Theft:

Did you hear about the guy in Paris who almost got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre? After planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only two blocks away when his SUV ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: “Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

And you thought I lacked De Gaulle to send you a story like this!