BunniHoTep and the Moon Watchers

Once upon a time during a full moon BunniHoTep decided she was going to spend a nice quiet evening down at her lotus pool. So she gathered a blanket and bid her priestesses good night and went to have a nice evening. As she got around the corner of the temple she heard noises in the direction of the pool. Who was spoiling her nice quiet evening?

She hopped hurriedly to her pool and found Heqet, the frog goddess, Ammit and one of her smaller priestesses lying on their backs having an argument. BunniHoTep was quite surprised about the whole thing. She knew Hequet almost never had a free full moon night. She was the goddess of childbirth and babies liked to arrive on full moons and what had lured Ammit out of her den on a full moon night? Ammit didn’t like being in seen in bright light normally and even more than that, what was her priestess doing out of bed? The moon was high in the sky and she should have been in bed long ago.

BunniHoTep laughed to herself as she listened to them argue. They were arguing about who was seen on the moon’s face. Hequet saw herself in the moon and Ammit saw a beautiful lady in the moon and BunniHoTep’s priestess saw her goddess in the moon because she knew Isis had placed BunniHoTep’s likeness in the moon. Everyone knew that!

BunniHoTep couldn’t stand it any longer and burst out laughing. The three sat up and looked at her. The Priestess lay back down in a hurry. She knew she shouldn’t be out of bed but it had been such a beautiful night and she liked Ammit so she had snuck out to enjoy the evening.

BunniHoTep looked at her priestess. “What are you doing out of bed?” and tried to look sternly at her priestess. Stern looks sit oddly on a happy rabbit’s face. “It was such a nice night and Ammit was here so I thought I’d enjoy the moon?” The priestess said trying to look innocent.

“All right, you can stay for a while longer as long as you are bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.”

The priestess lay back down with a smile.

“But what was all this arguing about who was in the moon?” asked BunniHoTep. Ammit and Heqet looked at each other.

The frog headed goddess croaked out. “We were just having a nice discussion about who was painted on the moon.

”BunniHoTep laughed, “It wasn’t sounding all that friendly when I heard it and why do you have to have one painting on the moon’s face?”

Ammit spoke up, “How can there be more than one thing on the moon?” Ammit squinted up at the bright disc.

”“What if you’re all right?” said BunniHoTep.

“How can we all be right?” asked her priestess.

“Well,” said BunniHoTep, “What if you see what you need to see at the moment you are looking at the moon? People of all shapes and sizes see all kinds of things in the moon. Horus sees his right eye in the moon. Isis put me up there for some to see. Some people see Heqet on the moon and some people even see a crab in the moon and lots and lots of people see a man or woman in the moon. They all have stories and they are all right.”

“How can they all be right!” croaked Heqet. She was a little annoyed she might not be painted on the moon.

“The moon belongs to everyone. It guides people and I don’t think she cares what she looks like to anyone and people like to tell stories. I think she can be whatever she needs to be. A guide to a woman in labour. A comfort to a lonely person here on earth. The moon lets us know we aren’t alone and that everyone anywhere can enjoy her and tell stories. She shines on all of us alike.”

“Oh,” the three said, “That makes sense.” The three settled back down and BunniHoTep joined them around the pool. The four friends chatted and pointed out their favourite constellations and stories about the moon and the stars until they were all yawning and trudged off to bed.

BunniHoTep and the Nature of Magic

Once upon a time the gods and goddesses were sitting around the veranda at Isis’s and Hathor’s summer palace having tea and a grand discussion on MAGIC. BunniHotep could see the capital letters float in the air and she listened intently as one after another they spoke.

Thoth talked about the grand magic of creating something from nothing with much ceremony and about how much he liked the priests parading about saying grand words before he would grant their requests.

Osiris and Set both talked about how much they liked the offerings that came their way when people had requests.

Hathor and Isis both spoke about how much love they felt for the people who came to their temples in such dire need and how they felt about granting the requests and how they decided who to help.

And BunniHotep kept listening and thinking crouched down on the floor. No one really noticed she was there as she was sitting very quietly and because she was quite small compared to the rest of the deities and quite frankly, being around Sekmet always made her a wee bit nervous at these gatherings.

One after the other the gods and goddesses spoke about the nature of what they saw as magic and how it changed the world in their view and what it did to the people of the world. Soon it was late and time for all the deities to head back to their temples for evening worship and it grew quiet. All that were left sitting on the porch were Isis and Hathor and BunniHoTep.

“Bunni,” Isis said, “You haven’t said anything all afternoon. Don’t you have any opinions on magic? I know you see it everyday so why were you so quiet?”

BunniHotep thought for a moment. “I wasn’t sure they would want to hear my opinion and I didn’t want to be impolite because I think so differently from some of them.”

Hathor thought and then spoke, “I know you are small but we still like to hear what you have to say so… what do you think magic is?”

BunniHotep put her thoughts in order. “Well, I just think magic is the simple things. Magic is the colours of a sunset and a baby’s laugh. It is a seed that grows into a beautiful lotus flower. It is the rainbows in the dew on a spring morning and the miracle of having enough to eat. It is healing after a long sickness and knowing you are loved by others. It is in the spider’s web and the swan’s flight. How can you not see magic in all of those things? I don’t think of the big things that happen as magic but the small things we see everyday and would miss horribly if they were gone. That’s what I think magic is, that and sitting here with you drinking tea on a late summer afternoon.”

Isis and Hathor nodded. “Maybe you’re right, BunniHotep, maybe you’re right.

And they sat on the temple veranda and watched the sun set in a blaze of beauty and quiet.

BunniHotep helps Yemaya

Once upon a time there was a small rabbit goddess named BunniHotep. Occasionally she liked to go down to the seaside and sit on the sand and watch the waves come in. One day she had been sitting there for sometime and was actually becoming a bit bored when she saw a woman walking down the beach.

BunniHotep watched her walk slowly toward her and waited. The woman was a beautiful shade of dark brown and her lively hair was even darker, the colour of rich beautiful Nile mud and she walked with a queenly stride but she also seemed to be very sad. Her lovely brown eyes seem to hold the woes of the world in them and it weighed heavily upon her. She came up to BunniHoTep and sank gracefully down beside her.

In a low quiet voice she asked BunniHoTep, “Are you the one who finds things?” She sighed and fell silent.

BunniHoTep looked at her a moment and replied, “Yes, that is what I do if it is needed. Did you lose something important?”

The woman replied, “Oh yes, I have lost something very important but not something I necessarily want to find.”

BunniHotep was confused, “What can I do if you don’t really want to find what you have lost?”

The woman paused, “Maybe I had better tell you my story. Have you the time to listen?”

“I always have time to listen,” BunniHotep said and she sat waiting with her ears up and ready.

“My name is Yemaya and I am the goddess of the ocean as well as of people’s hearts and I make the sea salty so it is like the blood that flows in each of us but I make it salty with my tears and I don’t want to cry anymore.”

BunniHoTep nodded, “I can understand that but what do you want me to find? Your sadness? I don’t think I can do that even if you really wanted me too. Isn’t there another way?”

“That is why I came to you, Isis told me long ago how clever you were at puzzles and finding things. I am so tired I can no longer think so do you think you can help me find a way to keep the sea salty and no longer cry and still help my people?”

BunniHoTep was quiet for quite awhile. She stared at the ocean and she knew the life there would start to die if she didn’t do something soon. And then she thought of something in her Temple that was just sitting there doing nothing.

“Ah Ha!” She said, I have just the thing. Wait right here!” And she hopped away as fast as she could for there was no time to waste!

She got to her Temple and asked one of her priestesses to get the object from the offering storeroom and to please carry it back for her while she hopped quickly back.

The priestess came running, breathing heavily over the sand because running across hot sand is hard work.

“I have it!” the Priestess said. She was carrying a large box with a funnel on top and a large handle and a big drawer on the bottom.

“Please set it down and stand back, please.” BunniHoTep motioned for Yemaya to move closer. “I think this will fix the problem. This is a special object. It makes salt. All you have to do is once a day, turn the handle and take what is in the box and spread it across the water. That way you make the sea salty and only cry for people if you feel the need to not because you have to do it.” BunniHoTep stepped back and let her try it.

Yemaya turned the crank slowly and then faster. She went and spread the salt from the drawer across the tide after she had ground a bit.

“Oh, BunniHoTep, Isis was right you are a clever and loving rabbit. I will always treasure this. Thank you!” And she placed a kiss on the forehead Isis loved to kiss. She gave her a quick stroke across her fur and picked up her new treasure and walked back down the beach like the goddess she was.

BunniHotep and the Priestess walked back to the Temple to share a few nice carrots and a cup of tea.

From my silly brain and the Lapin Archives

BunniHoTep and Ptah

Once upon a time BunniHotep was walking on Temple Row and came across Ptah. Ptah was staring at a half carved obelisk with a chisel in his hand and a puzzled look.

“What’s wrong, Ptah?” asked BunniHotep because something was quite obviously very wrong. Ptah usually looked very happy when he was going about his crafting tasks. It was his job to make and design all the art in the Temples. He had just finished Osiris’s lotus columns so this was very strange.

“I’m stuck,” he said with a sad voice. “I never get stuck and right in the middle of this obelisk too. I have to finish it and I have no idea how. My inspiration just flew away like that ibis there.” He added sadly. “That never happens to me. I have no idea what to write.” He looked even more dejected. Ptah was a god of few words so he had to be upset if he was going on this way. He saved his words for his work.

BunniHoTep decided she needed to shake Ptah’s lost inspiration loose. He had done a lot for her. He had spent a long time crouched down in rabbit-sized tunnels in her Temple carving and painting beautiful scenes. That had to have given him very big amounts of back pain and head bumps.  She had to help if just as a thank you for all his hard work.

“How did you get the idea for this obelisk in the first place?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t remember! It’s all gone.” Ptah was almost whining in frustration and this would never do. Gods do not whine!

BunniHoTep made an executive decision and grabbed Ptah’s arm with both her paws and tugged. “Let’s go for a walk. You need to get away from here.” She guided him off Temple Row. She thought Temple Row might be part of the problem. He rarely left it. How can you get an idea if you never go out?

So she walked him down to the docks on the Nile and they sat down and watched Ammit catch frogs for dinner. This aspect of her friendship with Ammit was a little hard to stomach but one makes allowances for friend’s oddities and it might help Ptah. They watched the ibises come and go from their nests, feeding their chicks. They watched the dragonflies buzz back and forth, their blues and oranges flashing brightly in the sun. She watched Ptah start to relax but he still had a sad expression on his face. So she tugged on him again and they continued on their walk.

She decided to walk him thru the Palace gardens, maybe that would help. They walked among the date palms and along the papyrus and lotus pools. They looked at the minnows darting back and forth catching insects for their suppers. They watched a vulture circle around over the desert in the distance. “He looks like he hasn’t a care in the world,” Ptah sighed.

“No, he looks like he’s found dinner,” BunniHotep said and hoped it was no one she knew but Ptah was seeming a bit brighter. “When was the last time you did something besides work for one of us?” She asked Ptah quietly.

“I don’t remember. Everyone keeps me so busy and I hate to say no.”

“Well, let’s make a bargain. Once a week we’ll take a walk off Temple Row. You don’t even have to speak to me when we walk, just be.” They kept walking and BunniHoTep smiled to herself at the small joke she had made. Thoth had made the rabbit hieroglyph the word “Be” and Ptah was too wound up to even remember.

“Let’s go watch the sunset over the Sphinxes. This time of year it goes right down the row of them and I like to watch it and then we can have supper.” Ptah nodded and they went and sat on the steps at the end of the row for their private show from Ra.

“You know something BunniHoTep? You gave me a big present. I think I can go back there tomorrow I know how to finish it. I think I’ll sketch it out tonight on papyrus so I won’t lose it but I know what to do now.” Ptah was very relaxed and smiling a bit now. He leaned back on his elbows and just watched to sun set.

Then the two friends got up and walked companionably back to Temple Row.

BunniHoTep and the real reason for the Flood

Once upon a time the moon was shining brightly out on the sandy, flat top of the mesa and a small rabbit came out to dance in the moonlight. BunniHotep was tired because people were not getting along and that made Her sad so She decided to do Her favourite thing in the whole world, Dance! BunniHoTep started to move slowly. She bowed in the direction of the Nile and She bowed to the desert and She danced. She danced slowly at first. Dipping and Spinning with Her paws out from Her sides and She danced because She felt the Earth move and the winds flow gently past Her.

She danced her joy at being alive in this body and in this beautiful place and as She danced something strange started to happen. Her joy moved through the world and the first one to feel it was Bast. Bast came running from Her Temple and She brought Her drum. Bast watched BunniHoTep and began to drum. Then the energy and love they brought to their dance moved farther out into the world and Hathor began to feel her foot tap.

Hathor said to Herself, “I need to Dance!” It had been so long since She danced and She was one of the goddesses whose dance helped make the world so She ran out to join the dance. As She ran to join the dance She grabbed Isis who had come out to see what was happening.

They joined the dance and the joy moved farther across the Earth. Next Ma’at and Nepthys and Nuit felt it and came running to join. They spun and dipped and whirled and stretched their arms out to the world and a strange thing began to happen.

The people began to smile. People who had not smiled in years smiled. They smiled at their neighbors. They smiled at strangers and still BunniHotep danced for joy.

Then other things began to happen as Bast drummed, women who had struggled at their labours gave birth easily and the children that were born were blessed with peace and joy all their lives. People who were sick and waiting to die, let go and went with peace and love surrounding them. The crops in the fields grew sturdy and would produce much food at harvest time. People who were fighting stopped and wondered why they had ever done it.

The beautiful night sky bloomed with stars overhead and people wished on the shooting stars and if their dreams weren’t selfish their wishes came true.

And still the Goddesses danced. A gentle rain came and caressed them and left to water the fields. Because Ma’at danced people who had not been fair to one another settled their differences.

And as the joy flooded the world the people understood about this great flood of love and peace and joy. History records a great flood and as man interprets these things in later years it was recorded as a bad thing because some people can not understand good and love in the world. The ones who wrote it down only knew that a Great Flood had come one night and changed the world. They never knew it was just the Goddesses dancing because they loved the World.

BunniHoTep and Tiamat

Once upon a time BunniHotep walked into the desert. She decided to see what was out in the sand. So in the early evening she packed her little knapsack and hopped into the desert. She hopped and hopped into the sandy wastes and discovered there really was life out here in the early evening.

She watched a scarab push the worlds up and down the dunes. She watched a scorpion and her babies travel the sands. The babies were clutching on for dear life. She thought that was probably not a way she would want to travel. She saw the wildflowers that tucked themselves in dunes and oasises. She sampled the dates as she passed through some lovely oasises far from the Nile.

Far along on her walk she started to hear a low moan. She was afraid it was the beginning of a dust storm but she listened closely. She heard the moan again and started to hurry in that direction. The moan got louder and she could tell someone was in deep pain. She hurried faster.

Suddenly she saw a large black hill. It was shiny in the dark and glittered with a hard light. Being a curious rabbit she was intrigued by this hill. The moan was coming from the hill and as she got closer the hill started to move. A head slowly lifted and came down in front of her. Lovely lavender faceted eyes blinked slowly at her. The eyes were full of pain. “Are you hurt?” BunniHoTep asked. It didn’t occur to her to be frightened, she had never seen a dragon before but she knew when someone was in pain and it hurt her heart.

The immense face moaned again. “ Oh, yes! I have such a toothache and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Maybe I can help if you hold very still. What’s your name? I don’t like to get near people so large without knowing their name.” BunniHoTep said.

The dragon gave a weak laugh, for a dragon she was, “ My name is Tiamat” I promise to not move and not to hurt you if you can just make me feel better.”

BunniHoTep bravely approached the dragon. It being almost dark helped take some of the fear away because she couldn’t really see how big Tiamat was. Tiamat opened her mouth wide and it was full of very large teeth. BunniHotep was getting scared but Tiamat had promised and BunniHoTep had a feeling this was a very special being so she put her best brave face on and entered the dragon’s mouth. There to the right was a very large tooth with a crack in it that was beginning to darken. All the other teeth were very white and beautiful.

BunniHoTep said, “ I see the problem but you will have to help me fix it. I’m going to fasten this rope from my sack around the tooth and then if you will move the tip of your tail around here I will tie the other end to your tail. On the count of three I want you to thump your tail and I think that will be enough to pull it out. Does that sound okay?”

Tiamat moaned, “ Oh, please, anything to make it stop hurting.” She moved her tail around so BunniHoTep was completely surrounded by the very large dragon but she went in Tiamat’s mouth and tied her rope to the tooth and backed out and tied the end to Tiamat’s tail.

“Okay, on the count of three, please thump your tail very, very hard. ONE…TWO…THREE!!!”

The tail whipped down and thumped with a huge crash and the tooth went flying out over BunniHoTep’s head. She flattened herself against Tiamat’s head.

“Oh, that is sooo much better.” Tiamat cried with a very different and joyful moan! Who are you? I was much in pain my manners escaped me.”

“My name is BunniHoTep and I’m the Finder of Objects and the keeper of small joys for the people in the lands to the south of here by the Nile.”

“Well, I’m going to give you an object to keep safe for me for you have found the source of a great pain and given me a large joy to be free of it. You may have this tooth and if you ever need me, hold the tooth and think on me for my people across the sand think I created our part of the world and I can do many great things. I will always hold you as a very special small goddess and if you wish you may take on another job. When a child loses a tooth please collect it and leave a blessing in its place.”

BunniHoTep thought this was a lovely idea and the Tooth Fairy came into being, for you see, the Tooth Fairy was really a small loving rabbit and has always been around for small beings everywhere because at night no one sees a rabbit.

From the archives of Lapin University and my silly brain that is possesed by a rabbit goddess.

BunnHoTep and Hathor’s Mirror

Ammit was having a really bad day. Her job was to eat the hearts that were rejected by Ma’at. These were very bad people who had not lived well. People whose hearts weighed more than a feather on Ma’at’s scales. These were people that had no good in them or very little at all. People who willingly chose to do bad things.

Most days Ammit stood by the scales and did not have to eat a single heart for most people in the world are good and choose not to hurt other beings. And Ammit was glad. She would much rather eat something that did not taste as bad as a bad person’s heart. It takes a very good and kind person to do Ammit’s job. Nobody else could eat all those hearts full of negativity, apathy and just plain evil and still be a good loving being.

Today she had had to eat three people’s hearts. That almost never happened. All of them had said mean things about how ugly she was and that someday she would be just like them. That night after she had finished her day with Ma’at, Ammit slunk back to her small mud temple and didn’t even stop for tea with BunniHoTep like she usually did. She was feeling very ugly and hurt. She had let herself listen to what the people has said to her and the things that they had said her were mean. She lay in her mud wallow and cried. Sometimes she wished there was someone else who could do her job but she knew there was no one else to do it. She had been created to do it.

Ammit the Devourer, the people called her and she had been made to look as scary as possible. She was part crocodile and part hippo and part lion. She had looked in the Nile one morning when it was calm and still and seen herself and vowed never to do it again. She scared herself and if she scared herself what would other people do when they saw her? She had no idea why BunniHoTep would want to be her friend but she was and that made a little pool of comfort in her stomach most of the time but not tonight.

Ammit dug deeper in her mud wallow and saw only darkness around her. She was so sad. She wished she had a nice job to do for the gods and goddesses. She lay there in the quiet mud and wallowed in it.

BunniHoTep sat in her Temple with the tea all made and she’d found some of the nice papyrus roots for Ammit to eat. Ammit said they tasted sweet and washed the bad out of her mouth. BunniHoTep waited and waited and Ammit didn’t come and then BunniHoTep went looking for her in Ammit’s Temple and it was dark and not even the porch light was on and BunniHoTep knew that Ammit had had a really bad day.

BunniHoTep decided to hop up to Temple Row to see how bad it had been. She got halfway down Temple Row before she found anybody to ask. Hathor was standing outside her Temple decorating it for the next festival in a few days with fresh flowers.

“Hi BunniHoTep, how are you this fine evening?” Hathor asked.

“Wondering how Ammit’s day went. She didn’t come to tea and her porch light isn’t lit and her Temple is very dark. That never means anything good.” BunniHoTep answered.

“Oh! You didn’t hear? Ammit had to eat three people’s hearts today. It was awful but then the people were too. Poor Ammit! They said awful things to her.” Hathor said thoughtfully.

“Did anyone say something nice to her after she had to eat the hearts?”

Hathor thought carefully. “No, I hadn’t heard anyone had. I wasn’t there so I really don’t know.

“Uh oh, I bet she is hiding. She feels every bad thing they say to her, you know. Then she goes into her Temple and hides because she thinks everyone feels that way.”

The two goddesses thought for a moment and then BunniHoTep had an idea. “Hathor, is your mirror near by?”

“Always.” Hathor pulled it off the belt she wore around her robe. “Why? Do you think we can help?”

“It shows how you really are on one side and what others think of you on the other, right?”

“Yes, do you think we should show it to Ammit?” asked Hathor.

“I think we should.” replied BunniHoTep.

And the two goddesses hurried down TempleRow to Ammit’s small mud Temple.

“Ammit, are you in there?” They called.

“Yes, go away.” came a small low voice.

“No, Ammit you need to come out of there. You missed your tea and I missed my friend.” BunniHoTep said.

“No, you didn’t. No one misses me.” said Ammit sadly.

“Yes, I do and come out here right now!” BunniHoTep said firmly.

There was a long pause while they could tell Ammit was thinking. “You really want to see me?” She asked.

“Yes, we do and we have something to show you.” said Hathor.

“Hathor? You’re there too?”

“Yes and you need to come out here right now.” she said even more firmly than BunniHoTep had.

There was a sucking sound and Ammit’s crocodile head came out and then the rest of her followed.

“What did you want to show me.” Ammit asked suspiciously.

Hathor took her mirror out from behind her back. “What do you see Ammit?”

Ammit looked cautiously and cowered away. “That’s awful! It’s horrible! Why did you want to show me that when I know how I look?” Ammit collapsed to the ground and started to cry.

“Oh, Ammit! We’re sorry but that is the side that shows how other people think of you like the people whose hearts you ate today. That isn’t really you.” Hathor quickly flipped her mirror around.

“Now look.” She commanded.

Ammit took a cautious peek and then another and then she stared.

“That’s the real me?” She said in wonder. “Honest?” Ammit couldn’t stop starring. “I’m beautiful.”

BunniHoTep patted her friend. “Yes, Ammit, you are. This is the side we see not the side the evil ones see. People who love you usually see you better than you do yourself and Ammit your outside can be scary but your heart isn’t.

Ammit just stared at the mirror. “That’s how you see me?” and her tears began to fall.

Hathor answered this time. “That’s we see you.” and she leaned down to hug Ammit.

“Don’t believe what all those evil people say about you. They’re being evil, that’s why you have to eat their hearts so that they can’t do more evil. Now could we all go have tea and get cleaned up? I have some of your favourite things today.”

Hathor nodded and reached down to help Ammit out of the mud. “Just remember it’s what you look like in the eyes of people who love you and what you know about yourself that counts.”

She brushed the mud off her robe and the three walked over to BunniHoTep’s Temple and sat quietly watching the sun set at the end of Temple Row. Ammit smiled for the first time that awful day. It was good to be loved.

BunniHoTep and Ammit

For Steve Irwin and all the work he did for the ones who aren’t so pretty.

BunniHoTep and Ammit
Once upon a time BunniHotep was down by the Nile and she heard a whimpering sound. She started looking through the reeds and the papyrus and she couldn’t find the noise. She searched and she searched and the sound moved away from her. So she sat down and waited and sure enough the sound stood still.

“I would like to help this person,” she thought, “But they don’t seem to want to let me help I wonder why?”

“Hello?” she asked. “Do you need help?” She waited for an answer.

“You can’t help me, Go away!”

“Why?” BunniHoTep asked.

“Because I might hurt you.” the voice said. It was a deep feminine voice and it sounded sad.

“Why would you hurt me?” BunniHoTep asked.

“Because it’s what I do, I eat people’s hearts when they don’t pass Ma’at’s tests.

“But I’m a friend of Ma’at you can’t hurt me.” BunniHoTep said.

“Yes, but I’m ugly and no one wants to be my friend because I look so scary and because of my job.” The voice said. “I have to hide when I’m not working. Ma’at doesn’t even talk to me much.”

“Ma’at doesn’t talk to anybody much ,” BunniHoTep said, “Everyone needs a friend and you can’t be that bad to look at. We have crocodiles and hippos around here and they aren’t the best looking animals.”

BunniHoTep heard soft crying. “But I am part hippo and part crocodile.” The voice sobbed.

“Oh,” BunniHoTep said. “Well, if you don’t mind a rabbit for a friend, I’ll be your friend, I don’t care what you look like. And if Ma’at likes you why wouldn’t I?”

BunniHotep heard a rustling in the reeds and slowly a very large head appeared, “Okay, now that you’ve seen me do you still want to be my friend?”

“Are you a good person?” said BunniHotep.

“I think so,” the person said and BunniHotep had to admit she really wasn’t pretty.

“What’s your name? My name is BunniHoTep and my Temple is right over there. Would you like to have tea?”

“My name is Ammit and yes, I would like some tea.”

So the two new friends went off to the Temple and had tea and some lovely Temple offerings and had a good chat about all the latest news from the Valley of the Kings.

BunniHoTep thought about it later.” Good friends really can be all shapes and sizes can’t they?”

BunniHoTep and the Moon Watchers

Once upon a time during a full moon BunniHoTep decided she was going to spend a nice quiet evening down at her lotus pool. So she gathered a blanket and bid her priestesses good night and went to have a nice evening. As she got around the corner of the temple she heard noises in the direction of the pool. Who was spoiling her nice quiet evening?

She hopped hurriedly to her pool and found Heqet, the frog goddess, Ammit and one of her smaller priestesses lying on their backs having an argument. BunniHoTep was quite surprised about the whole thing. She knew Hequet almost never had a free full moon night. She was the goddess of childbirth and babies liked to arrive on full moons and what had lured Ammit out of her den on a full moon night? Ammit didn’t like being in seen in bright light normally and even more than that what was her priestess doing out of bed? The moon was high in the sky and she should have been in bed long ago.

BunniHoTep laughed to herself as she listened to them argue. They were arguing about who was seen on the moon’s face. Hequet saw herself in the moon and Ammit saw a beautiful lady in the moon and BunniHoTep’s priestess saw her goddess in the moon because she knew Isis had placed BunniHoTep’s likeness in the moon. Everyone knew that!

BunniHoTep couldn’t stand it any longer and burst out laughing. The three sat up and looked at her. The Priestess lay back down in a hurry. She knew she shouldn’t be out of bed but it had been such a beautiful night and she liked Ammit so she had snuck out to enjoy the evening.

BunniHoTep looked at her priestess. “What are you doing out of bed?” and tried to look sternly at her priestess. Stern looks sit oddly on a happy rabbit’s face.“It was such a nice night and Ammit was here so I thought I’d enjoy the moon?” The priestess said trying to look innocent.

“All right, you can stay for a while longer as long as you are bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.”

The priestess lay back down with a smile.

“But what was all this arguing about who was in the moon?” asked BunniHoTep.Ammit and Heqet looked at each other.

The frog headed goddess croaked out. “We were just having a nice discussion about who was painted on the moon.

”BunniHoTep laughed, “It wasn’t sounding all that friendly when I heard it and why do you have to have one painting on the moon’s face?”

Ammit spoke up, “How can there be more than one thing on the moon?” Ammit squinted up at the bright disc.

”“What if you’re all right?” said BunniHoTep.

“How can we all be right?” asked her priestess.

“Well,” said BunniHoTep, “What if you see what you need to see at the moment you are looking at the moon? People of all shapes and sizes see all kinds of things in the moon. Horus sees his right eye in the moon. Isis put me up there for some to see. Some people see Heqet on the moon and some people even see a crab in the moon and lots and lots of people see a man or woman in the moon. They all have stories and they are all right.”

“How can they all be right!” croaked Heqet. She was a little annoyed she might not be painted on the moon.

“The moon belongs to everyone. It guides people and I don’t think she cares what she looks like to anyone and people like to tell stories. I think she can be whatever she needs to be. A guide to a woman in labour. A comfort to a lonely person here on earth. The moon lets us know we aren’t alone and that everyone anywhere can enjoy her and tell stories. She shines on all of us alike.”

“Oh,” the three said, “That makes sense.”The three settled back down and BunniHoTep joined them around the pool. The four friends chatted and pointed out their favourite constellations and stories about the moon and the stars until they were all yawning and trudged off to bed.

How to be a Priestess of BunniHoTep

Geb and Nuit gave her the job of watching the shards of the egg that was left from the creation of the Sun. The egg is now kept in Thoth’s Temple. She became so adept at finding the small shards Geb and Nuit gave her a promotion to the Goddess of finding lost objects. And so she remains to this day, a finder of lost objects. So when you lose your other sock, your keys or your best friend you must ask nicely of Her and She, if She is willing will help you find your lost things. But you must remember some things are best left unfound and undisturbed. She can also be invoked during the spring ritual of egg hunts when real eggs have been used. The kind of hunt that the only other way you will find those missing eggs is some time in summer and you find them by their smell.

She is known by:

The Moon circlet that Isis gave her. All her priestesses are entitled to where a circlet like BunniHoTep’s or the can wear one with a rabbit on it.

Her preferred offerings are Chocolate rabbit effigies (dark or milk but not white chocolate) and eggs, sweet new lettuce, (no iceberg) carrots, radishes and new greens of any kind.

BunniHotep’s priestesses are entitled to wear soft brown robes like BunniHoTep’s fur. The fact that they resemble the robes of a religious order of a certain space opera does not matter. BunniHoTep is older that that space opera and does not come from a galaxy far, far away.

In the 3rd dynasty a schism developed in the Priestesshood. Those that ate the feet first of the effigies were called the H.O.P.pers or the Holy Order of Priestesses. The Priestesses who ate the ears first are the L.E.A.P.ers. or the Lagomorphically Easily Accessible Priestesses. These Priestesses were not antagonistic to each other just adamant about how to accept their ritual offerings. The H.O.P.pers took over the outside duties of the Temple such as gardening and sweeping the Temple steps and the L.E.A.P.ers took over the inside duties of the Temple such as cleaning and accounting and tending To BunniHoTep’s personal needs. BunniHoTep’s Priestesses in turn give back to the community.

Attending To BunniHoTep’s personal needs. BunniHoTep’s Priestesses in turn give back to the community by sharing BunniHoTep’s effluent as rich fertilizer to the faithful. They lead finding rituals daily for supplicants who have lost important objects. There are monthly rituals for finding missed opportunities and for lost causes. These are done with the New Moon. There is a yearly inundation ritual for the opening of hearts that corresponds to the fertilization of the lands around the Nile banks.

To be a Priestess you must be able to perform the ritual dance of the Priestesshood:

The steps are; right kick twice, left kick twice, hop forward, hop backward. hop, hop, hop forward. The music that accompanies this ritual dance goes: Da, da ,da, da.da,da, Dah, Dah, Dah,. Da, da,da,da,da,da DAH< DAH< DAH! Repeat.

Persons carrying rabbit’s feet into the temple will be asked to leave the temple and not return for this is considered very bad form. And punishable by any luck you have leaving immediately.

To be a Priestess of BunniHoTep one must commit to finding that which has been lost, seeing the bright side of life and finding the beauty in things that others find ugly. And to not bop field mice on the head, that is the wrong rabbit.

One must commit to making random acts of beauty and kindness and to do it without fanfare. Rabbits are camouflaged for a reason.