I did this last year and burned out when the letters got on the weird side. Let’s see if I can finish this time but I’m going to allow myself the freedom to only post once on a letter if that is all I have to say.
A is for Attitude
What is your default attitude?
Is it the world weary I know all I need to know? Is it ho-hum another day? Is it snarky or cynical or just plain pessimistic?
Or is it ooh, what can the world show me today? What is beautiful that I’m missing?
I’ve written on this before but I think an attitude of wonder is essential to being pagan. If you think that paganism is only in books or only learned in circle or that you can’t do it without a “proper” teacher, or any other reason that it is wonderful to be alive on this plane, you have missed the point.
I feel sorry for you.
And I don’t mean an airy faery kind of everything is always wonderful attitude. I mean seeing what is there and wondering, is it beautiful? Is it something I can help if it’s broken or hurt? Is it something I can appreciate? Or is it something I can just lift up a prayer to the universe to, such as when you see an ambulance. Do you automatically send calming or healing energy? Even if it’s just to the first responders?
I have an inherited predisposition toward depression. I know it isn’t easy. I know how easy it is to be negative but does that help you or anyone around you?
The cure for me is to go stand outside. To take a walk, if I can’t because the weather is too bad, I’ll stand in the open door. It’s one of the many reasons I sleep with the window open. Even if I get cold I know I’m alive and in my body. I spent a great deal of time as a child out of my body and I have to fight the tendency every day to check out into my head. To escape.
To escape pain, To escape a parent’s rage or the other parent’s indifference. To escape into a book or just into my head where they couldn’t reach me and hurt me again. Thank heavens for my grandparents that taught me it was okay to be in my body and feel alive in it. Even if it was something as simple as lying on my stomach on the wraparound porch watching the ants.
So today, what is your attitude? Try to move the default setting to wonder and awe or just compassion and awareness. But move it from self to outside yourself. I think you will be glad you did.
Speaking of wonder and awe, I always find it strange how desensitized people have become to the beauty of nature. I work the afternoon shift, take my lunch after the moon has risen (during the winter months) and spend the portion of my time as I walk to my car just gazing at the moon and stars. I stop to look at rainbows, bring my car to a complete halt to watch wild life (admittedly, this can be dangerous ;p), and admire wildflowers. When I point these things out, most people tend to shrug their shoulders and go on with their day. Kudos to this post. Found you via PBP btw, I’m not just some wandering weirdo. Actually, I probably am. ;p